From one of our readers:
How can the Disgraced, Re-called former Senator Russell Pearce save his floundering campaign for LD-25 Senate? Here's a few ideas:
• Gift old Fiesta Bowl ticket stubs to YMCA so kids can redeem stubs for free tacos at Jack
in the Box.
• Buy a couple of new ties.
• Move to AJ to run against the real enemy -- Rich Crandall.
• Accuse Bob Worsley of selling Jerry Lewis backpacks in Sky Mall catalogue.
• Get endorsement of the Dos XX “most interesting man in the world.”
• Show compassionate side by proposing amnesty for all illegal aliens from other planets.
• Change name to: Mitt Pearce.
• Follow example of Kirk Adams and announce you will decline to accept any of the
benefits from your three state pensions.
• Issue press release backdated to May 1 stating you will not accept any “reimbursement”
funds from the state because you do not wish to be a burden on the taxpayers.
• Ask Marie Osmond for help to become a spokesman for Jenny Craig to get free air time.
• Roll out endorsements from Sheriff Babeu, Wil Cardon and Andrew Thomas.
• Use back channel contacts at church HQ to get a mission call as graceful way to bow out
of race.
• Pray like heck the call is not to a mission in Mexico.
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