Mani (Mainstream): Modi, have you seen Radi this morning?
Modi (Moderate): No. Is he still playing executioner with those friends of his? If so, he may sleep late.
Mani: Aha! He will miss prayers. We can chide him for that. Missing prayer brings on a death penalty[1]. I was reading over the law last night and I saw it. That surprised me; I must be more observant about the time.
Modi: We cannot chide him too much. If he were out all night killing people that have been denounced as heretics, blasphemers, apostates, or whatever; assuredly, he would not miss the Evening Prayer (Isha), but if he slept at all, he might miss the early Morning Prayer (Fajr). If you look at the next subparagraph to what you read last night, you will see that Radi would have an excuse for missing it[2]. If he is awakened by sunlight, he knows he is too late. He might even forget to make it up.
Mani: Of course, we are only speculating. He may have gotten a job somewhere.
Modi: (Laughs) Do they have jobs for throat-cutting specialists.
Mani: (Suppresses his laughter) Modi, you can be cruel sometimes.
Modi: (Very serious) But everyone survives MY cruelty. I choose my words to hurt people who hurt others with more than words.
Radi (Radical): Good morning, friends. What are we discussing today?
Mani: I guess it is hurting people with words.
Radi: Ha! Is that ever a waste of time. If you want to hurt someone, use a stout stick or a sharp knife.
Modi: Radi, I know about the knife. What’s the stick for?
Radi: For women. You know yourself you must beat them occasionally.[3]
Mani: The Qur’an is talking about married men beating their wives, Radi. You are not married, so it lets you out.
Radi: If I see a woman doing something she should not do, I can beat her on the spot.
Mani: You are referring to the Taliban, and the Saudi Ethics Police, or whatever they call themselves now. You have not been appointed as police here.
Modi: Yes, Radi. You beat some woman in Iraq and her husband or brothers will be coming after you. They will not be pleased.
Radi: After me? For doing my duty?
Modi (Moderate): No. Is he still playing executioner with those friends of his? If so, he may sleep late.
Mani: Aha! He will miss prayers. We can chide him for that. Missing prayer brings on a death penalty[1]. I was reading over the law last night and I saw it. That surprised me; I must be more observant about the time.
Modi: We cannot chide him too much. If he were out all night killing people that have been denounced as heretics, blasphemers, apostates, or whatever; assuredly, he would not miss the Evening Prayer (Isha), but if he slept at all, he might miss the early Morning Prayer (Fajr). If you look at the next subparagraph to what you read last night, you will see that Radi would have an excuse for missing it[2]. If he is awakened by sunlight, he knows he is too late. He might even forget to make it up.
Mani: Of course, we are only speculating. He may have gotten a job somewhere.
Modi: (Laughs) Do they have jobs for throat-cutting specialists.
Mani: (Suppresses his laughter) Modi, you can be cruel sometimes.
Modi: (Very serious) But everyone survives MY cruelty. I choose my words to hurt people who hurt others with more than words.
Radi (Radical): Good morning, friends. What are we discussing today?
Mani: I guess it is hurting people with words.
Radi: Ha! Is that ever a waste of time. If you want to hurt someone, use a stout stick or a sharp knife.
Modi: Radi, I know about the knife. What’s the stick for?
Radi: For women. You know yourself you must beat them occasionally.[3]
Mani: The Qur’an is talking about married men beating their wives, Radi. You are not married, so it lets you out.
Radi: If I see a woman doing something she should not do, I can beat her on the spot.
Mani: You are referring to the Taliban, and the Saudi Ethics Police, or whatever they call themselves now. You have not been appointed as police here.
Modi: Yes, Radi. You beat some woman in Iraq and her husband or brothers will be coming after you. They will not be pleased.
Radi: After me? For doing my duty?
Mani: They may not consider it your duty and bring you up on charges, seeking retaliation.[4]
Radi: I will have to check on that a little closer.
Mani: Yes, Radi, you may have people looking for you.
Radi: (Laughs) I might at that. I must be on my guard.
Modi: You know, Radi, our new laws do not allow you to run around with that pack of wolves, killing people because you heard they were violating some religious law.
Radi: Our religious obligations are sacred and transcend those of the government.
Mani: Not any more, Radi. In and around Baghdad, people are complying with those new laws. The only exceptions are al-Qaeda and a few insurgent groups that are considered outlaws anyway. Compliance is spreading into the outer districts. You can complain about the unfairness of it all from your jail cell.
Modi: Mani is right. You may have to find something better to do.
Radi: What could be better than killing people for offenses against Allah? I can lift up my heart to Allah and rejoice when my hands are covered in honest blood.
Modi: I believe there is a better word for that, Radi. The short term is “murderer”. The longer term is “psychogenetic killer.”
Radi: I think I have been insulted. Mani, what did he say?
Mani: I think Modi is wrong. He said in effect that you have become psychotic because of mental conflicts. That can’t be right.
Radi: Thanks, Mani, for coming to my defense. You are a good friend.
Mani: You are welcome, Radi. However, I have not finished my analysis yet.
Modi: I can hardly wait.
Radi: Modi, let my good friend Mani speak. He will tell you I am not psychotic.
Modi: On the contrary, Radi. You are indeed psychotic; but not because of mental conflicts. You are psychotic because of mental deficiency. You have a one-track mind, going the wrong way, and the track is not finished yet.
Radi: I don’t know what any of that means, but you two are now on my doomed list.
Modi: Well, before you put us on your dumb list, Radi, look at the time.
Radi: That is DOOMED List, you heathen! You will die for your last insults. You too, Mani.
Mani: Fine, Radi, but you will have to defer all executions until later. It is time to answer Bilal and see to our ablutions.
Modi: And Radi, please don’t break wind until after prayers.
Radi: Ooops! Too late.
Modi and Mani laugh, both calling him a heathen.
HJS
[1] Sacred Law (Reliance of the Traveller) f1.4 “A Muslim who holds the prayer to be obligatory but through lack of concern neglects to perform it until its proper time is over has not committed unbelief.” [See W18.0 for related arguments]. “Rather, he is executed, washed, prayed over, and buried in a Muslim cemetery.” [It is not obligatory that he is asked to repent, in which case he is not executed].
[2] Ibid, F1.5 “No one has an excuse to delay the prayer beyond its time except:
(1) Someone asleep, (2) Someone who forgot it, (3) or someone who delayed it to combine two prayers during a journey.” [Discussion also in F15.12 et al.]
[3] Qur’an 4:34 “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.”
[4] Sacred Law o3.1 [et al] “Retaliation is obligatory when there is an intentional injury against life or limb.”
[1] Sacred Law (Reliance of the Traveller) f1.4 “A Muslim who holds the prayer to be obligatory but through lack of concern neglects to perform it until its proper time is over has not committed unbelief.” [See W18.0 for related arguments]. “Rather, he is executed, washed, prayed over, and buried in a Muslim cemetery.” [It is not obligatory that he is asked to repent, in which case he is not executed].
[2] Ibid, F1.5 “No one has an excuse to delay the prayer beyond its time except:
(1) Someone asleep, (2) Someone who forgot it, (3) or someone who delayed it to combine two prayers during a journey.” [Discussion also in F15.12 et al.]
[3] Qur’an 4:34 “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.”
[4] Sacred Law o3.1 [et al] “Retaliation is obligatory when there is an intentional injury against life or limb.”
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