At 10:45 AM, on the morning of Tuesday, August 18, 2009, Contessa Brewer, Dylan Ratigan, and something calling itself “Toure” made it official:
MSNBC has shamelessly dropped all pretense of functioning as a legitimate purveyor of serious broadcast/cable news.
It is now a vomitorium.
It was at the above time on said date that the Three Raceketeers issued some of the vilest, most repellant, and repugnant vomitous ever spewed upon the American people. And if NBC president Steven Capus had one ounce of integrity, he would have fired the offenders on the spot. Here’s the story …
Showing a carefully cropped shot of an armed protestor outside an Obama rally in Phoenix, Arizona, Brewer, Ratigan, and “Toure” proceeded to use the man as an example of the rampant white racism that threatens the very life of our first black President. The more they talked, the more they frothed. And, they soon became downright hysterical.
“I mean,” spewed Brewer, “here you have a man of color in the presidency and white people showing up with guns strapped to their waists or to their legs.”
“You know,” yammered a wide-eyed “Toure,” “there’s a lot of tumult going on from there being a black president … and so many people are still mad about a black person, and black people in general, reaching that level.”
Not to be outdone, the always frenetic Ratigan chimed in, “Then, totally you would install a black president at a time when the temperature is higher and you just have a more volatile combination, where people have to behave in a more conscious manner or we’re going to have problems.”
So, there you have it, the Three Raceketeers went from showing a carefully cropped close-up shot from behind of “white people showing up with guns strapped to their waists” … to “a lot of tumult” over “there being a black president” … to the MSNBC-proclaimed “fact” that “we’re going to have problems.”
Actually, of course, we already had a “problem” – because the entire episode was a MSNBC-manufactured hoax.
You see, the white man being shown with the “guns strapped to his waist” wasn’t white at all. He was black. As Brewer, Ratigan, and Toure well knew – since they’re the ones who carefully cropped his head and hands out of the picture, and made up the lie.
In short, Contessa Brewer, Dylan Ratigan, and the scrawny clown calling himself “Toure” disgorged bilge all over the American people, characterizing the populace as raging racists, all the while knowing they were conjuring up the entire episode.
Now, I have to admit that it’s hard not to engage in ad hominem attacks when writing about as kooky a threesome as Brewer, Ratigan, and the person currently calling himself “Toure.”
Together, they personify all that is wrong with the MSNBC brand of harebrained mis-reportage.
Separately, they are poster children for frontal lobotomies.
The vapid Brewer, for her part, has become infamous for putting the P in what Rush Limbaugh calls PMSNBC. Regardless of the story, she seems somehow always on the verge of going hormonal, flying off the handle, and hurling mindless invective at all who fall within her line of fire. As she did with John Ziegler when he had the audacity to defend Sarah Palin to a wild-eyed, red-faced Brewer. Contessa cut his mike – while all watching knew that deep down the hyperventilating vixen really wanted to cut his throat.
Then, there is Dylan Ratigan – who, despite his namesake never goes gently into any good night. He is the man who, his cumbersome denials aside, was reportedly removed from CNBC for his inability to control his continually flapping foul mouth. Here’s how the New York Post reported one on Ratigan’s typical outbursts:
Page Six heard a tape of highly volatile Ratigan … ranting to a producer at a commercial break last summer:
"Don't ask me to talk about every [bleep]ing e-mail that comes up on the screen. I'm not going to host a [bleep]ing TV show that consists of reading [bleep]ing e-mails to [bleep]ing traders."
This from the man who goes on the air to condemn the American people as out-of-control racists. Welcome to the Twilight Zone, Dylan.
And finally, we have the palpable idiot who has christened himself “Toure” – as in “Sinatra,” “Streisand,” or, more aptly, “Clarabelle.” You have to know that when not appearing with the Three Raceketeers, “Toure” is the hip-hop writer for Rolling Stone. There, he waxes rhapsodic (or, at least as rhapsodic as the monosyllabic “Toure” is able) about such heroes of his as Mr. Big, Fifty Cent, Snoop Dog, and Eminem (yes, he who wrote of his own mother: “Slut, you think I won't choke no whore' til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!”)
“Toure,” by the way, shares with us on his Face Book page that he wants to die while having sex, and that he does not believe in bathing regularly. Which leads one to surmise that the only person likely to die while “Toure” is having sex is the unfortunate partner, that by asphyxiation.
So, there you have it: MSNBC’s top morning anchors who on Tuesday, August 18, Steven Capus unleashed to projectile vomit on the American people.
Well, I have a suggestion for Mr. Capus: the next time you learn that the Three Raceketeers are planning to doctor footage in order to build ratings for one of their diurnal kookfests, why don’t you invite a sane member of your minuscule audience on to lend an air of validity to the otherwise inane diatribe.
I’ll be happy to volunteer – if I’m allowed to bring a barf bag.
Carter Clews is the Executive Editor of ALG News.
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