Modi (Moderate): While we were chatting the other day, Radi, you asked a question that I have been turning over and over in my mind. Where do we go from here?
Radi (Radical): Yes, I remember. Suppose the war were to end tomorrow. Where are we? Are we still at war with the West? Do we still have a chance of winning the entire planet for Allah?
Mani (Mainstream): Now that you mention it, I would like to get in on that answer also.
Modi: Mani, you guys have been half-right all along. The Chinese once said, “Do nothing, and all things will be done.” Indeed, Mani, that is what your friends were doing—nothing. We could have used your help against Radi’s friends, not kicking and screaming and whirling knives around as they were but just standing up once in a while and saying that those people do not speak for you.
Mani: Well, they did not speak for us, not all the time.
Modi: You had a right, and I would add that you had a duty, to stand up and say that you disagree with what the radicals were saying and doing.
Mani: We did not always disagree with what they were saying and doing. We would not do it or say it, but we felt that they had every right to say what was in the Qur’an and the Hadiths, no matter how terrible it sounded and no matter how many people had to die because of it.
Modi: Because of the hatred shown by Radi’s friends and the absolute intolerance they showed to other people of the other great religions, we have turned the clock back again and are not getting the converts we want.
Radi: We are getting plenty of converts. You must be lying.
Modi: Our religion should be drawing even more, but we are losing more than we are gaining because Radi’s friends keep trying to radicalize the new ones who want to be left in peace. If we did not threaten to kill people who want to leave the religion, we might spring a leak because of the present attitudes. Our religion started with Judaism and Christianity and did not do very much that was different, except that we taught that the Qur’an was authored by Allah, while the Christians and Jews go only so far as saying their scriptures were inspired.
Mani: But Modi, the Qur’an was created by Allah and given to our beloved Prophet over the course of 23 years.
Modi: That is what we have been told—by men who have an agenda; they want to keep us here in the religion, and they are able to do that because almost every violation of anything is a sin against God. Mani, an elderly man was killed because while he was sweeping debris from his yard someone reported he accidentally touched the mosque wall with the dust. That is NOT religion! That is just crass murder!
Radi: That is not murder; he was rightfully killed for a sin against Allah, blasphemy.
Modi: The man probably loved Allah with all his might but was elderly and probably had bad eyes and shaky hands. But besides that, sweeping dust on a WALL? How about if you look at the mosque with dirty glasses? Would that be a sin?
Radi: Hey, it might be. Mani. What do you think?
Mani: I will wait for the movie.
Modi: A friend of mine told me that there are many beautiful things that we should be sharing in our religion; some wonderful thoughts and ideals. But along with the beauty, you must take the ugly: women and non-Muslims as second-class citizens, a death sentence for leaving the religion, death sentences for saying the wrong thing, terrible-looking clothing, death sentences for girls not marrying whomever their fathers choose, honor killings, death sentences for being raped, female circumcisions that maim and kill young girls, pre-teen forced marriages, and I can go on and on. But besides all of those, you can also be killed just for saying it is time to reform the religion.
Mani: We had tried to reform the religion earlier, but it did not work.
Modi: The religion, like Judaism and Christianity, was well on its way to developing into a much more beautiful and tolerant religion when another ill wind blew out of the Najaf and gave us Wahhabism. Mani, we are strong in the Middle East, we are the number 2 religion in Europe, we have many adherents in America—what more do we need? We do not have to take over the world—besides we tried that and bungled the whole thing.
Radi: How do you figure that?
Modi: Read our history, Radi. I just showed you how Europe was trying to prop us up before World War I, stepping in and saving us from our own incompetence more than once. Europe wanted like crazy to keep the Ottomans as a powerful Eastern empire. When we rule, we go crazy and lose everyone’s respect because we corrupt ourselves. We should never rule.
Radi: Are you saying we should be slaves?
Modi: No, Radi. Does the Catholic Church rule? Is there a rabbi pope? No. The religions are just that, religions. They do not rule lands or countries; they do not maintain standing armies and threaten the world. They try to convince everyone that threats and violence, killings and massacres have no place in the world and must stop. The great religions are there not just as guides but as information centers to show how things can be done, and why certain things shouldn’t be done.
Radi: You don’t mean like the United Nations?
Modi: Don’t talk to me about those clowns. We should keep some of the organizations but shut down their administration! If we cannot build a better organization than that, we are a disgrace to our second-grade curriculum.
Mani: So what should we do?
Modi: I do not know for sure, but we must change. First, change the rules on apostasy and blasphemy. As Mao said when he came to power, “Let a thousand flowers bloom, and let a thousand schools of thought contend.”
Mani: But won’t that lead to chaos?
Modi: Let our people give their opinions and ask their questions without killing them for it! What on earth is wrong with letting go and letting the people live, thrive, and ask lots of questions? It could be lots of fun.
Radi: Mani, I think Modi is nuts. Should we call the wagon?
Modi: Look, you guys, my Christian friend said that we have the same God, so how come we say ours is always angry and threatening and whipping and cutting off heads? His God is awesome but very tolerant and merciful.
Radi: God is what He is. We have no choice in the matter. And what are you doing with a Christian friend?
Modi: You still do not get it, Radi. We are not made in God’s image. Our entire idea of God is ceated in our image. Religion does not make us. It gives us ideas, but it is the person who makes his religion beautiful. And you must allow for change; if you don’t, what would a pond look like after 1300 years of no rain or other fresh water or anyone looking after it? We have wonderful, modern houses now, with showers that indeed make a ghusl 1 out of every wudu,2 yet some try to tell me that we must continue with the early way of Muhammad (pbuh), when our beloved Prophet would be the first to use a convenience that makes the religion easier for everyone. Sometimes we have to think ahead, not look back. The future is ahead of us wanting us to join it. We can’t fix yesterday.
Mani: I must say, Modi, you are all over the planet, but it is beginning to make sense.
Radi: Oh, yeah? Explain it to me.
Modi: Perhaps it is a way of saying, Mani, that we should find a way to love the entire world and everyone in it.
Radi: Oh, yeah? Who died and left you boss?
Modi: Well, there are exceptions to every rule.
Mani: Yes, I see.
Modi: I guess it is time to open the mosques, the churches, and the synagogues and let people take away with them whatever ideas and prayers they like from each religion. And let them love God and each other the best way they can.
The End
__________________________
So from Modi (Hope we meet again), Mani (Have a nice life), and Radi (I am not talking to any infidels) I hope we have brought you a little learning, a little fun, and a little hope.
HJS
_____________________
1Wudu, ablution before prayer (minimal).
2Ghusl, ablution before prayer (full body wash).
SPECIAL THANKS TO HJS FOR HIS EXCELLENT, THOUGHT PROVOKING SERIES ON ISLAM. HJS IS A WELL KNOWN EXPERT ON ISLAM & ON BEHALF OF ALL THE POLITICO MAFIOSO READERS, I WISH TO THANK HIM FOR HIS HARD WORK!
Radi (Radical): Yes, I remember. Suppose the war were to end tomorrow. Where are we? Are we still at war with the West? Do we still have a chance of winning the entire planet for Allah?
Mani (Mainstream): Now that you mention it, I would like to get in on that answer also.
Modi: Mani, you guys have been half-right all along. The Chinese once said, “Do nothing, and all things will be done.” Indeed, Mani, that is what your friends were doing—nothing. We could have used your help against Radi’s friends, not kicking and screaming and whirling knives around as they were but just standing up once in a while and saying that those people do not speak for you.
Mani: Well, they did not speak for us, not all the time.
Modi: You had a right, and I would add that you had a duty, to stand up and say that you disagree with what the radicals were saying and doing.
Mani: We did not always disagree with what they were saying and doing. We would not do it or say it, but we felt that they had every right to say what was in the Qur’an and the Hadiths, no matter how terrible it sounded and no matter how many people had to die because of it.
Modi: Because of the hatred shown by Radi’s friends and the absolute intolerance they showed to other people of the other great religions, we have turned the clock back again and are not getting the converts we want.
Radi: We are getting plenty of converts. You must be lying.
Modi: Our religion should be drawing even more, but we are losing more than we are gaining because Radi’s friends keep trying to radicalize the new ones who want to be left in peace. If we did not threaten to kill people who want to leave the religion, we might spring a leak because of the present attitudes. Our religion started with Judaism and Christianity and did not do very much that was different, except that we taught that the Qur’an was authored by Allah, while the Christians and Jews go only so far as saying their scriptures were inspired.
Mani: But Modi, the Qur’an was created by Allah and given to our beloved Prophet over the course of 23 years.
Modi: That is what we have been told—by men who have an agenda; they want to keep us here in the religion, and they are able to do that because almost every violation of anything is a sin against God. Mani, an elderly man was killed because while he was sweeping debris from his yard someone reported he accidentally touched the mosque wall with the dust. That is NOT religion! That is just crass murder!
Radi: That is not murder; he was rightfully killed for a sin against Allah, blasphemy.
Modi: The man probably loved Allah with all his might but was elderly and probably had bad eyes and shaky hands. But besides that, sweeping dust on a WALL? How about if you look at the mosque with dirty glasses? Would that be a sin?
Radi: Hey, it might be. Mani. What do you think?
Mani: I will wait for the movie.
Modi: A friend of mine told me that there are many beautiful things that we should be sharing in our religion; some wonderful thoughts and ideals. But along with the beauty, you must take the ugly: women and non-Muslims as second-class citizens, a death sentence for leaving the religion, death sentences for saying the wrong thing, terrible-looking clothing, death sentences for girls not marrying whomever their fathers choose, honor killings, death sentences for being raped, female circumcisions that maim and kill young girls, pre-teen forced marriages, and I can go on and on. But besides all of those, you can also be killed just for saying it is time to reform the religion.
Mani: We had tried to reform the religion earlier, but it did not work.
Modi: The religion, like Judaism and Christianity, was well on its way to developing into a much more beautiful and tolerant religion when another ill wind blew out of the Najaf and gave us Wahhabism. Mani, we are strong in the Middle East, we are the number 2 religion in Europe, we have many adherents in America—what more do we need? We do not have to take over the world—besides we tried that and bungled the whole thing.
Radi: How do you figure that?
Modi: Read our history, Radi. I just showed you how Europe was trying to prop us up before World War I, stepping in and saving us from our own incompetence more than once. Europe wanted like crazy to keep the Ottomans as a powerful Eastern empire. When we rule, we go crazy and lose everyone’s respect because we corrupt ourselves. We should never rule.
Radi: Are you saying we should be slaves?
Modi: No, Radi. Does the Catholic Church rule? Is there a rabbi pope? No. The religions are just that, religions. They do not rule lands or countries; they do not maintain standing armies and threaten the world. They try to convince everyone that threats and violence, killings and massacres have no place in the world and must stop. The great religions are there not just as guides but as information centers to show how things can be done, and why certain things shouldn’t be done.
Radi: You don’t mean like the United Nations?
Modi: Don’t talk to me about those clowns. We should keep some of the organizations but shut down their administration! If we cannot build a better organization than that, we are a disgrace to our second-grade curriculum.
Mani: So what should we do?
Modi: I do not know for sure, but we must change. First, change the rules on apostasy and blasphemy. As Mao said when he came to power, “Let a thousand flowers bloom, and let a thousand schools of thought contend.”
Mani: But won’t that lead to chaos?
Modi: Let our people give their opinions and ask their questions without killing them for it! What on earth is wrong with letting go and letting the people live, thrive, and ask lots of questions? It could be lots of fun.
If we stop trying to conquer and rule the world, the world might even be given to us. Why not discuss merging with the other monotheistic religions on a trial basis to allow for Islam to begin and develop. Of course, this is just brainstorming ideas on my part, Mani. Some of it may not work, but some
may. We have everything anyone wants in a religion, but we also have too much they don’t want.
Radi: Mani, I think Modi is nuts. Should we call the wagon?
Modi: Look, you guys, my Christian friend said that we have the same God, so how come we say ours is always angry and threatening and whipping and cutting off heads? His God is awesome but very tolerant and merciful.
Radi: God is what He is. We have no choice in the matter. And what are you doing with a Christian friend?
Modi: You still do not get it, Radi. We are not made in God’s image. Our entire idea of God is ceated in our image. Religion does not make us. It gives us ideas, but it is the person who makes his religion beautiful. And you must allow for change; if you don’t, what would a pond look like after 1300 years of no rain or other fresh water or anyone looking after it? We have wonderful, modern houses now, with showers that indeed make a ghusl 1 out of every wudu,2 yet some try to tell me that we must continue with the early way of Muhammad (pbuh), when our beloved Prophet would be the first to use a convenience that makes the religion easier for everyone. Sometimes we have to think ahead, not look back. The future is ahead of us wanting us to join it. We can’t fix yesterday.
Mani: I must say, Modi, you are all over the planet, but it is beginning to make sense.
Radi: Oh, yeah? Explain it to me.
Modi: Perhaps it is a way of saying, Mani, that we should find a way to love the entire world and everyone in it.
Radi: Oh, yeah? Who died and left you boss?
Modi: Well, there are exceptions to every rule.
Mani: Yes, I see.
Modi: I guess it is time to open the mosques, the churches, and the synagogues and let people take away with them whatever ideas and prayers they like from each religion. And let them love God and each other the best way they can.
The End
__________________________
So from Modi (Hope we meet again), Mani (Have a nice life), and Radi (I am not talking to any infidels) I hope we have brought you a little learning, a little fun, and a little hope.
HJS
_____________________
1Wudu, ablution before prayer (minimal).
2Ghusl, ablution before prayer (full body wash).
SPECIAL THANKS TO HJS FOR HIS EXCELLENT, THOUGHT PROVOKING SERIES ON ISLAM. HJS IS A WELL KNOWN EXPERT ON ISLAM & ON BEHALF OF ALL THE POLITICO MAFIOSO READERS, I WISH TO THANK HIM FOR HIS HARD WORK!
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