Mani (Mainstream): I did not like losing to Sadr.
Modi (Moderate): I don’t blame you. I feel the same way. It is disgusting that we could not rely on those people to empty that armory.
Mani: It is not their fault. Allah wills what He wants, but I just do not understand his purpose in letting Sadr win.
Modi: Why would you think Allah willed it for Sadr to avoid this?
Mani: If it happened, Allah willed it. You know as well as I that everything is already in place and He knows who wins, who loses, and who goes to heaven and who burns in hell.
Modi: Now wait a minute! I though you already rejected predestination when we talked about it months ago.
Mani: I have a new imam and we have gone over this problem again. He calls it qismah, the will of Allah. He said that everyone has a life-cycle about which we can do nothing. No matter what befalls us, good or bad, it has already been set--even who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. Allah knows all of this well in advance.
Modi: Are you then telling me that he creates people and puts them on the path to hell? I just cannot accept such a notion.
Mani: The world is his to do with as He pleases.
Modi: It does not sound like the Allah I worship.
Mani: I guess that is one way of putting it. Perhaps He did not plan who goes where, but created a system in which everyone falls in little blocks in the middle of a maze. Perhaps more than one path leads to the fire, but only one leads to paradise. Perhaps He allows newborn souls to fall where they will randomly and they must find their own way out to the fire or to paradise.
Modi: That is a little bleak also, Mani. Is that from your new imam?
Mani: Not exactly, but pretty close. I asked him if we love and worship Allah, keep His laws, and are a benefit to our community, wouldn’t Allah go so far as to will us on the right path to avoid a hell we did not deserve? He said that nothing anywhere even hints that He would do that.
Radi: See. You must wade into the unbelievers, your sword flashing in the sunlight or the moonlight. You must kill for Allah and be killed for Allah in order to guarantee paradise.
Modi: Well, that’s not encouraging. There must be some way of breaking that life cycle and taking some control without killing people no matter who they are. Why should I care that there are Jews, Christians, and even polytheists and animists in the world? What harm have they done us?
Radi: They have tried to subjugate us and take our lands and our oil. They deserve to die for what they did and are doing.
Mani: I will defend Islam with my life, Radi, martyrdom or no martyrdom. But I will not point my AK in the wrong direction. As much as I love my countrymen and hate aggressors, I will pour lead into that crooked cleric Sadr and his henchmen before I harm a single coalition soldier. Radi, you hated Saddam Hussein and cursed more than a dozen times will someone not rid us of him.
Modi: Yes, I remember that, Radi. You were miserable under Saddam. He killed at least two of your relatives that I know of. Saddam is dead now because of the Americans. How much oil have they taken? I saw on Fox News that the Americans are paying out billions to stay here and fight for us. Mani is right. Some of us Sunnis are hateful beasts that give our people the wrong guidance and ensure they are on the path to hell.
Radi: How can they help being misguided?
Mani: Misguided is no excuse for being stupid. It is written that everyone must know his religion, his community, and the world around him. If one does not learn what he needs to learn, he shares the responsibility for any harm to his community or to Islam.
Modi: Bravo, Mani. You could be an imam.
Mani: But I could also be a radical, Modi. It takes a great deal of effort, too much sometimes, to stay focused. There are too many other imams with agendas that will give us no peace and point to us as if we are the pariahs. You know, it would be so much easier to just throw my hands up, rely on the imams telling me the truth, and just run around blowing up schools and killing people indiscriminately.
Modi: Yes, it takes sometimes every ounce of strength to be a good person. And everyone tries to tell you it is not worth it. And yes, it is much easier to be a Neanderthal.
Radi: You both are confusing me. If I don’t die before too long, I must seek to be a martyr. I do not want to take any chances on the fire. I am taking the shortcut!
Modi: I keep hearing that, but I do not believe it. Martyrdom is not zipping on a vest, then going over to the Israeli side and getting on a crowded bus. Martyrdom is when you are fighting for Allah with no intention of getting killed, but you catch a bullet or a grenade fragment and die. Once you decide to get yourself killed for one reason or another, that is suicide and you will not see paradise. To the real martyr, life is still dear to him, but he takes the chance because he loves Allah that much.
Mani: Then why would the imam disagree?
Modi: I would guess that his agenda includes recruiting people to use for homicide bombing and the only way he can do that is to lie to his candidates about what constitutes martyrdom.
Mani: It never occurred to me he could be a recruiter.
Modi: There is a lot of money floating around for fighters and for martyr-candidates, Mani. I am certain that some of that wealth can fall into the hands of recruiters.
Mani: That makes me sick, Modi.
Radi: That would not be my way at all. I can see myself wading into a crowd of Jews or Christians, waving my sword and slicing this way and that until I cannot lift my arms to strike again. The Jews will kill me in anger, but I will die smiling.
Mani: Have you ever met a Jew or a Christian, Radi. (Radi frowns)
Mani: I thought so. Radi, dress the part and go to Israel. Knock on any door and you will find one of us. They will be Jewish, of course, but nonetheless you will recognize another Modi, yourself, or me.
Modi: Our religion does not make us what we are. There are hundreds of millions of Muslims in this world who would never hurt another person, no matter what religion he is. You will hear “Live and let live,” more than you hear “Kill them wherever you find them.”
Radi: I have never heard that type of talk before. Just today I sharpened my knife. I may have to use it this day.
Mani: The world is changing, Radi, and we have already been left behind too long.
Mani: Yes, here we are looking for more 21st century weapons and munitions, but we are led by imams who are still thinking as if we were still in the 7th century. We cannot catch up here.
Modi: You know, Mani, you are right. We cannot catch up here. We are trying to walk upright and live in peace, but we cannot because we are constantly being stirred up by the Neanderthals among us. We must leave.
Mani: Where could we go and learn in peace? Egypt? Jordan? Europe? What about our families and our friends? How would we live?
Modi: We both have cousins in America. That one cousin in Florida that sent you the photographs of his home and swimming pool, write him and ask for his advice. He brought up his kids in America and has a fine job. He should know.
Mani: I also have a cousin that teaches at the University…
Modi: No, by no means, not him. He probably is giving us a bad name in America already. How can he teach in a university? He is stupid! And he has the attitude of a little Zarqawi.
Radi: Sounds like my kind of guy. (Modi and Mani laugh)
Mani: I have that aunt in Arizona that married the Christian.
Modi: You would have to convince her we are not coming to murder her.
Mani: I will let Radi talk to her. (Modi laughs so hard he falls)
Radi: I will miss you guys if you leave Iraq.
Mani: I will talk to Zaina. You two can get married and come with us.
Radi: They might have a price on my head--I am notorious!
Modi: Not to worry; the price on you will be so low, no one will notice.
Radi: Always the comedian, Modi. Ah, Bilal calls.
HJS
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