Radi is visiting his fiancée, Hayât. Modi and Mani are out of town.
Hayat: I thought you were coming to take us to dinner last night.
Radi (Radical): I thought it was tonight.
Hayat: You dufus! When are you going to get things right?
Radi: I managed to go over much of the Qur’an with Modi and Mani this week.
Hayat: Oh, Radi, I am so glad to hear that. Those other pals you have are no good for your blood pressure. By the way, I saw Mani yesterday, probably on the way to Modi’s place.
Radi: Did he say anything about me?
Hayat: Radi! You know he cannot say anything to a woman on the street; one of your pals would set up an alarm and beat the hell out of both of us.
Radi: I don’t understand. I see all kinds of women in foreign dress on the street. They stop and pass the time of day with a man they know.
Hayat: Right. The ones in the foreign dress have families or husbands who are well known and powerful. The looney-tunes know better than to yell at them and beat them. They and their whole family may disappear.
Radi: How can the rich people justify that? On the Last Day, Allah will have them dragged into the fire.
Hayat: And what will you be doing on the Last Day? You will be hiding in a corner somewhere, hoping Allah doesn’t spot you.
Radi: (Puffs out his chest) I will have you know that I am in good standing with Allah. I have gone after many sinners in His name.
Hayat: Radi, how many times have I told you it is not your place to do that? You are not an appointed authority.
Radi: It is every Muslim’s duty to root out sinners and punish them.
Hayat: Whoever told you that is way off base. Radi, we have the police force now to go after people who violate the law. They are not really that good yet, and many still do not understand that corruption is not a good thing. Nonetheless, it is better than each person taking it upon himself to punish sinners.
Radi: But Hayat, my love, my flower, our state is not punishing the crimes right. One man last week admitted to being an atheist, and he was not even arrested.
Hayat: So? His lack of religion is his business. It is certainly none of yours.
Radi: But Hayat, it is against the Sharia; he left his religion. He should be killed.
Hayat: Not any more, Radi. If you kill him, you will be in trouble.
Radi: The sacred law says anyone who can gain access to an apostate must kill him.
Hayat: Not any more. We have a Declaration of Human Rights. If you take a look at Article XIII, you will see there is no more apostasy.
Radi: What? That cannot be. Nobody can leave this religion.
Hayat: It is the law, Radi. I believe only the Saudis are still holding out about apostasy. I would bet that they have not let their people know about the Universal Islamic Declaration of Human Rights.
Radi: They cannot abandon the law of apostasy! They just cannot!
Hayat: Are you saying that Islam will not be the same unless we killed someone for leaving it?
Radi: Of course. Nothing will be the same. People can sin and get away with it.
Hayat: I wish Modi were here. I would invite him over so we could talk it out. Meanwhile, Radi, don’t you dare go out with those pals of yours. They are nothing but trouble. One of these days they and you will go on the retaliation list for killing the wrong person.
Radi: There is no retaliation for killing sinners.
Hayat: There are no sinners anymore, Radi. There are crimes and criminals. Two or three people in a Salafist group cannot declare anyone a sinner and go after him anymore. If they do, they are responsible for their actions. If they do not accept retaliation, they can go to prison for a long time. I don’t think blood-money applies anymore.
Radi: If all of these changes were already made, why couldn’t you speak to Mani yesterday on the street?
Hayat: Are you kidding? The word has not come down yet to the Neanderthals.
They are always the last to learn. I am not going to chance losing an eye or my life because those jerks are still in century seven. I like the new laws, but I will not stand in front of a moving bus to assert my rights not to be run over.
Radi: You know, now that you mention it, what is wrong with a man and a woman saying hello if they know each other? In fact, look at all the Western movies in which unmarried people take each other to dinner without a chaperone.
Hayat: And what is wrong with a man of one religion marrying a woman of another religion and each accompanying his or her spouse to their respective houses of worship every other week.
Radi: Whoa! That is unthinkable! No!
Hayat: Why not? Are you afraid it might lead to someone leaving the religion?
Radi. Yes! That is a terrible sin.
Hayat. No, Radi, please get it through your head that we now have the freedom to believe what we like. There is no more apostasy! Say it!
Radi: There is...no..more...apo... NO! I can’t say it.
Hayat: You can say it; it just needs practice. There is no more apostasy! Say it, Radi!
Radi: I can’t.
Hayat: You had better learn, Radi. I won’t dress up in your favorite miniskirt until you learn how to say it.
Radi: Sweetheart! That is cruel. I can’t get enough of seeing you in it. Can’t I say, "There is no more heresy" instead?
Hayat: I am not going to answer that! I told you the way it is. Unless you can say it, Radi, you are no good to anyone. I am not going to marry you as long as I know that before long, you will have a long list of people wanting retaliation for a brother or sister, or even a parent.
Radi: But Hayat...
Hayat: No! When I marry you, Radi, it will be a marriage of peace and of respect for one another. I am drawing the line now. I am not going to marry an extremist moron.
Radi: Now what would Radi do?
Hayat: He’d kick your rear and tell you to be thankful that someone like me loves you. Hah! Modi’s wife was right about that.
Radi: Right about what?
Hayat: Love is not only blind, it’s stupid!
HJS
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