Mani (Mainstream): Modi, I have an eerie feeling something is not right.
Modi (Moderate): I know just how you feel. It took me a few weeks to adapt.
Mani: Adapt to what?
Modi: For example, when I did my ablutions early this morning, I had running water. I did not have to fill a pot yesterday to keep water for that purpose. I did not spill water all over me because of a bomb blast down the street. All my window pains are still there from last week.
Mani: I see. As we look up the street, many of the holes have been filled in, and we do not have to avoid some of the holes in the rain.
Modi: Yes, you are right about that. I will never forget when Radi stepped into a puddle and disappeared from sight. He would have drowned if we did not know he was with us.
Mani: I keep hearing that the new Iranian explosive devices are devastating. However, I have not heard any since that first one. What is going on?
Modi: You mean what is NOT going on? One thing, between us and the Americans, al-Qaeda had their behinds handed to them. They not only have to lick their wounds and reorganize, they also need resuscitation.
Mani: I heard that al-Qaeda was coming back.
Modi: Right, they were trying to, but a few of the sheikhs were tired of dealing with them. They told the Americans that they would turn them over on one condition—they wanted them first. The Americans only said that if they found an American congressman with them, the U.S. Marines want him—bad.
Radi (Radical): I hear that al-Qaeda is coming back in force.
Modi: Well, you can sit up and wait for them tonight. Take a pillow and some water for early ablutions.
Mani: Radi, you may as well stay home.
Radi: Things are getting a little monotonous. Even my friends find nothing to do anymore. They don’t bother to patrol the streets, looking for sinners.
Modi: Things are changing. People are catching on to the new Qur’anic movement and seem to like it. It works for them.
Radi: What? A new movement? Reformers?
Modi: Actually not. They are studying the Qur’an and find it expedient to have a working group stay with it, rewriting some of the rules as they go along. They are not reforming the religion, just reviving it, something akin to what the Americans do every so often.
Radi: Revive the religion? I am not sure I like that. There is only one way to deal with a sinner. You cut off his head.
Modi: Cutting off someone’s head means that a wife loses a husband, kids lose a father, and the umma (Muslim community) loses the zakat payments. Radi, one of the first rules of the movement is cutting out the violence. Their tolerance clause, in fact, accepts other religions and faiths and recognizes the freedom of people to choose the faith they want.
Radi: Oh, Allah, what have they done? Now I know heads will roll.
'Mani: They have erased the idea of apostasy; that’s what they have done. Radi, it is a good thing to do. Too many people were being killed for nothing. You remember the Egyptian scholar who was chased down the street with his father shooting at him—all because he changed his religion.
Modi: Yes, Radi, now try to think. People got sick of al-Qaeda, women are tossing aside their chadors for the new look in abayas that do not hide the female form. In some places, Lebanon for one, you can now buy miniskirts and sheer blouses. I believe that people simply became tired and offended by the stonings and the hangings for no reason. There is a new wind in Iraq, and elsewhere that may very well be the death knell for barbarism and radicalism.
Mani: Naaa. People like Radi we will always have with us.
Modi: Perhaps. This new movement, if it catches on in other places as well, will make Islam an even greater religion than it was.
Radi: Oh yeah? Does it have a name?
Modi: It certainly has, The Lahore Ahmadiyya movement.1 You may also want to know that 100 great Western works will also become available in our Muslim countries. Can you imagine some of our people reading Camus, Kafka, Steinbeck, and Hanno Krupt on modern architecture? The Wahhabis need to read something about architecture.
Radi: We will kill all of those people in the movement and burn all the books! We will again show everyone that there is only one Islam, and it will be controlled by the Salafists and the Wahabbis, the only pure ones faithful to the Qur’an as it was written.
Mani: Just like that?
Radi: Of course just like that! We will not accept for one second any idea or thought that even appears to conflict with exactly how the Qur’an was written centuries ago.
Modi: You for one have no idea how the Qur’an was originally written. Have you ever tried to write Arabic on a banana leaf? Have you ever seen written Arabic in its original form? Arabic script was so bad that memory was accepted as the most accurate record. Caliphs Abu Bakr and Uthman collected individual verses from the memory of people who had been through terrible battles with the Meccans and others for years. Some (like Abu Bakr) had to leave Mecca for Ethiopia in fear of their lives, return for more hassle, and to relocate to Medina for years; then some returned to Mecca to be reunited with their families at last. Just how much would some of these people remember after all of this time and upheaval?
Radi: Allah made certain that all the verses were found and translated correctly. It is one of the miracles of the Qur’an.
Modi: Miracles? Radi, we can’t do that with our computers. Somebody with an agenda would always change a word or even a sentence to give themselves an edge or get them out of hot water. Look! You don’t really think Allah is going to give martyrs 72 virgins, do you? The gift is supposed to be "white grapes." How can the Qur’an say in one part you cannot touch a woman not your wife (and you can have only four of those), then you commit suicide (also forbidden by the Qur’an), and finally you expect Allah to reward you with 72 virgins you are not allowed to touch? Are they slaves? If you believe all of that, Radi, I know this bridge across the Euphrates that is priced to sell.
Radi: You forget, Allah can do anything he wants.
Modi: Right, Radi. Now sit back in comfort and watch the Iraq government issue work itself out. Perhaps we will see just who it is Allah wants to win. Perhaps you are wondering why He just does not spread His hands out and say that He too is tired of all this mess in the Middle East and say, "Let there be an end to this nonsense."
Radi: Modi, you were told when you were a child that Allah works in His own time and in His own way.
Modi: Yes, Radi, I remember that. And I also remember that some people sit around for decades just waiting for something to happen, a Messiah or a Mahdi to finally come along and chase away all the bad guys. However, we do not have the luxury of waiting that long for a savior anymore.
Radi: I sense you are going to blaspheme again. Why is time so critical?
Modi: Don’t you read the papers? Well, we have an asteroid in our vicinity and it does not look friendly. Nature may have the last word in this argument.
Radi: Why doesn’t somebody tell me these things?
HJS
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