Modi (Moderate): Radi, what on earth are you so happy about?
Radi (Radical): Hi, Modi. Have you seen the CNN reports about the American version of waterboarding?
Mani (Mainstream): Waterboarding? What is that? Is it waterskiing with a 2 X 4 or something?
Radi: (laughs) No. It is the American idea of torture.
Modi: Oh, yes. I did hear about that. Torture? I do not think so.
Radi: Well, I happen to know that some of our groups have some very mild methods of torture. The believers who want sinners to admit their guilt sometimes drive toothpicks or even brads under fingernails. Anything less than that could not be torture.
Mani: Ooh! That has to be painful. Is waterboarding painful?
Radi: Ha! No, it is not painful. It just gives a sensation of drowning,
Mani: And the Americans consider that torture?
Modi: Not all of them, just the usual nuts—the Liberal Democrats.
Radi: The one I like to watch is taking pliers and slowly pulling out the fingernails. Our insurgents like that one because sometimes they get information before the first fingernail is completely out.
Mani: Don’t say that. My nails hurt just hearing about it. You like to watch stuff like that?
Radi: Yep. But it is not half as much fun as taking a finger joint off each time a prisoner refuses to answer. They really yell, but usually they admit their sins after the second or third finger is removed. Some use a sharp knife, but I have seen others use a hammer and a wood chisel.
Mani: They use a wood chisel?
Radi: Yes. I understand that they put a narrow chisel where they want to cut and….
Modi: I do not want to hear the rest, Radi. That is sick. You say we are using such drastic torture techniques to force prisoners into confessing crimes against us as well as giving information?
Radi: It’s not all that bad. After they admit they are committing crimes, we administer antiseptics and bandage their wounds.
Mani: Then what do you do?
Radi: Well, then we kill them.
Modi: Oh, I see. You very mercifully end their misery.
Radi: Yes, that is right.
Mani: Do you use waterboarding at all?
Radi: No. However, I guess we might consider it if we needed to question some little kids. The Shi’ites are more effective, I have heard. They caught an eight-year-old stealing bread. The judge did not want to impose amputation of the right hand (one would hope no one would do such a thing to a child) but instead sentenced the boy to have a car run over the arm. [hyperlink]
Modi: My, how merciful the judge was. Perhaps we should send the video to the American Democrats. It would make waterboarding look like tea and cookies. I bet the little boy would rather have waterboarding.
Radi: So much for our mild forms of torture. We do have more reliable and more painful forms of torture.
Mani: I do not think I want to hear about them.
Modi: What could be more painful than having a finger joint cut off with a wood chisel?
Radi: Well, a popular form of torture here is to have your hands tied behind you, with a rope tied to the wrists and pulled through a pulley in the ceiling until the prisoner is a few feet off the ground. I understand the pain in the shoulder sockets induces a great deal of screaming. Of course, we also have whipping with metal-tipped whips, electrodes in effective places, teeth extractions, truncheons, and plain, old fists.
Mani: I would really hate to see your variation on waterboarding.
Radi: It is simple. We hang the prisoner by the feet and let him down slowly into a large bucket filled with water. He drowns, we revive him, and we drown him again. It is effective. The problem we have with that form is that sometimes we cannot revive him.
Mani: Oh, that is too bad. You miss out on all that fun.
Radi: You are critical of torture, Mani, but how else do we get important information that the prisoner does not want to give up?
Mani: You do not think waterboarding will do it?
Radi: Why bother when we have other, more effective methods. I heard that in Zanzibar, it was not unusual to force kerosene down a prisoner’s throat and insert a fuse in his stomach.
Mani feels sick and turns away.
Radi: Mani looks a little green. Is he sick?
Modi: No, Radi, he is not the one sick. You brought up the subject of waterboarding, and we should have stayed with that subject.
Radi: Bah. How can the Americans say that waterboarding is even in the torture category? It is almost a kid’s game.
Modi: Well, we had a discussion once before about the American Liberals not growing up and still thinking like kids.
Radi: Yes. I remember that. Do they really long for the Walgreen town of Perfect? That seems rather farfetched.
Modi: It is not far off the mark. It is not even clear to them what the goal is, but what is very clear is what they do not want and will not accept. They do not want life the way it is with everyone free to think and live as they please, limited only by law and their economic conditions. However, they are two faced. On one hand, they do not want violent, hateful murderers killed; however, on the other hand, they think nothing of killing their own innocent babies. That is as bad as these idiot insurgents conning our kids into being suicide bombers.
Radi: Their kids are their future. They do not see anything wrong with that?
Modi: No. Their desire to kill the unborn is so strong in them it affects everything they do in politics. They go berserk if they suspect a judge candidate does not support killing the unborn. If they could end marriage, except for gay people, they would. Gay folks don’t usually give birth. But they shot themselves in the foot with gay marriage because gay folks now seem to want to bring up kids—I guess some natural feelings of parenthood are coming through. This new phenomenon could eventually reduce the numbers of abortions.
Mani: Are we finished with the subject of torture?
Modi: Are you OK? [Harry: The original usage was the abbreviation, never written out.] We are finished with the subject. We are now discussing American abortions.
Mani: Allah be merciful! Modi, if that is not a terrible form of torture, what else could be? What a shame.
Radi: Oh, I don’t know about that. If they keep that up, there won’t be any more Americans.
Modi: Now I am getting sick. We may have to forget about lunch.
Radi: Now THAT is real torture.
Mani: Bilal is calling.
HJS
Radi (Radical): Hi, Modi. Have you seen the CNN reports about the American version of waterboarding?
Mani (Mainstream): Waterboarding? What is that? Is it waterskiing with a 2 X 4 or something?
Radi: (laughs) No. It is the American idea of torture.
Modi: Oh, yes. I did hear about that. Torture? I do not think so.
Radi: Well, I happen to know that some of our groups have some very mild methods of torture. The believers who want sinners to admit their guilt sometimes drive toothpicks or even brads under fingernails. Anything less than that could not be torture.
Mani: Ooh! That has to be painful. Is waterboarding painful?
Radi: Ha! No, it is not painful. It just gives a sensation of drowning,
Mani: And the Americans consider that torture?
Modi: Not all of them, just the usual nuts—the Liberal Democrats.
Radi: The one I like to watch is taking pliers and slowly pulling out the fingernails. Our insurgents like that one because sometimes they get information before the first fingernail is completely out.
Mani: Don’t say that. My nails hurt just hearing about it. You like to watch stuff like that?
Radi: Yep. But it is not half as much fun as taking a finger joint off each time a prisoner refuses to answer. They really yell, but usually they admit their sins after the second or third finger is removed. Some use a sharp knife, but I have seen others use a hammer and a wood chisel.
Mani: They use a wood chisel?
Radi: Yes. I understand that they put a narrow chisel where they want to cut and….
Modi: I do not want to hear the rest, Radi. That is sick. You say we are using such drastic torture techniques to force prisoners into confessing crimes against us as well as giving information?
Radi: It’s not all that bad. After they admit they are committing crimes, we administer antiseptics and bandage their wounds.
Mani: Then what do you do?
Radi: Well, then we kill them.
Modi: Oh, I see. You very mercifully end their misery.
Radi: Yes, that is right.
Mani: Do you use waterboarding at all?
Radi: No. However, I guess we might consider it if we needed to question some little kids. The Shi’ites are more effective, I have heard. They caught an eight-year-old stealing bread. The judge did not want to impose amputation of the right hand (one would hope no one would do such a thing to a child) but instead sentenced the boy to have a car run over the arm. [hyperlink]
Modi: My, how merciful the judge was. Perhaps we should send the video to the American Democrats. It would make waterboarding look like tea and cookies. I bet the little boy would rather have waterboarding.
Radi: So much for our mild forms of torture. We do have more reliable and more painful forms of torture.
Mani: I do not think I want to hear about them.
Modi: What could be more painful than having a finger joint cut off with a wood chisel?
Radi: Well, a popular form of torture here is to have your hands tied behind you, with a rope tied to the wrists and pulled through a pulley in the ceiling until the prisoner is a few feet off the ground. I understand the pain in the shoulder sockets induces a great deal of screaming. Of course, we also have whipping with metal-tipped whips, electrodes in effective places, teeth extractions, truncheons, and plain, old fists.
Mani: I would really hate to see your variation on waterboarding.
Radi: It is simple. We hang the prisoner by the feet and let him down slowly into a large bucket filled with water. He drowns, we revive him, and we drown him again. It is effective. The problem we have with that form is that sometimes we cannot revive him.
Mani: Oh, that is too bad. You miss out on all that fun.
Radi: You are critical of torture, Mani, but how else do we get important information that the prisoner does not want to give up?
Mani: You do not think waterboarding will do it?
Radi: Why bother when we have other, more effective methods. I heard that in Zanzibar, it was not unusual to force kerosene down a prisoner’s throat and insert a fuse in his stomach.
Mani feels sick and turns away.
Radi: Mani looks a little green. Is he sick?
Modi: No, Radi, he is not the one sick. You brought up the subject of waterboarding, and we should have stayed with that subject.
Radi: Bah. How can the Americans say that waterboarding is even in the torture category? It is almost a kid’s game.
Modi: Well, we had a discussion once before about the American Liberals not growing up and still thinking like kids.
Radi: Yes. I remember that. Do they really long for the Walgreen town of Perfect? That seems rather farfetched.
Modi: It is not far off the mark. It is not even clear to them what the goal is, but what is very clear is what they do not want and will not accept. They do not want life the way it is with everyone free to think and live as they please, limited only by law and their economic conditions. However, they are two faced. On one hand, they do not want violent, hateful murderers killed; however, on the other hand, they think nothing of killing their own innocent babies. That is as bad as these idiot insurgents conning our kids into being suicide bombers.
Radi: Their kids are their future. They do not see anything wrong with that?
Modi: No. Their desire to kill the unborn is so strong in them it affects everything they do in politics. They go berserk if they suspect a judge candidate does not support killing the unborn. If they could end marriage, except for gay people, they would. Gay folks don’t usually give birth. But they shot themselves in the foot with gay marriage because gay folks now seem to want to bring up kids—I guess some natural feelings of parenthood are coming through. This new phenomenon could eventually reduce the numbers of abortions.
Mani: Are we finished with the subject of torture?
Modi: Are you OK? [Harry: The original usage was the abbreviation, never written out.] We are finished with the subject. We are now discussing American abortions.
Mani: Allah be merciful! Modi, if that is not a terrible form of torture, what else could be? What a shame.
Radi: Oh, I don’t know about that. If they keep that up, there won’t be any more Americans.
Modi: Now I am getting sick. We may have to forget about lunch.
Radi: Now THAT is real torture.
Mani: Bilal is calling.
HJS
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