Radi (Radical): Modi, I hate to say this, but you were right about history.
Mani (Mainstream): Allah be praised! Just what did Modi tell you, Radi?
Radi: He told me a few things about history’s repeating itself unless we continually look at the past to get a better handle on the present. My imam’s brother is a teacher. He told me that when he was a lad he had heard stories about what Modi told me.
Mani: Modi, what did you tell him?
Modi: I simply mentioned that the Middle East has always been important to the Americans, even before their Constitution[1]. In fact, we Arabs were the reason for the individual states’ finally getting together and creating their Constitution and the reason for their finally—against much objection—building their own navy.[2]
Radi: What is really strange—and funny—is that the people in the Northeast were against creating a navy. THEY WERE AFRAID THEIR EUROPEAN FRIENDS WOULD BE OFFENDED if they built a navy to protect their commerce[3]. At the time, it seemed as if George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were the only two people who believed the Americans had the stomach to defend themselves. Remember, this was after a hard-fought war for their independence from Great Britain!
Modi: And how about this one: Jefferson suggested to the Europeans that instead of paying all that annual tribute money to our Barbary pirates, the Americans should build a fleet and combine with Europe’s great navies to suppress the terrorism on the Mediterranean. Europe, especially France, refused. The excuse they gave was that it was more cost-effective to pay us extortion. We found out much later that the Europeans simply were afraid of us.[4]
Radi: In the end, America had to create its Constitution, strengthen its federal government, build a navy, and attack our Arab terrorists and the states sponsoring them.
Mani: I have not heard or read any of those stories.
Modi: Don’t feel bad; neither have many Americans. They know that their American squadrons finally won, but only after we handed them their tail feathers dozens of times and made them pay millions to get their sailors back. The Americans won because they had to put together a larger force to fight the British for the second time. One could also say that they beat the British at sea using the same tactics we used on the Yankee squadrons in the Mediterranean Sea.[5]
Mani: (laughs) This stuff is great. For once, I am glad Radi brought something up to discuss. I have to get some of these books to read.
Modi: You will have to learn a Western language, Mani. Thanks to our Salafist friends, we do not have many books available that are not strictly religious. As you well know, some of the imams constantly say not to read. How many times have you heard, “If it agrees with the Qur’an, you should already know it; if it does not agree with the Qur’an, you should not read it.”
Radi: I agree with that.
Modi: But if you agreed with that wholeheartedly, Radi, you would not want to know the things I just shared with you. You must have some doubt.
Radi: Those things were only tidbits, Modi. I already have forgotten them. The only important knowledge is in the Qur’an and the Hadiths. It is only important that we all fear Allah and we worship Him properly.
Mani: Isn’t it important that Allah loves us? Has that gotten lost somewhere in our faith? How can He be all merciful and all forgiving if He does not love us?
Modi: Radi, Mani has very good points there. You need to give those things some more thought. I bring up my kids to love Allah, and I most assuredly tell them that Allah loves us in return. I let them know that even if we sometimes go astray, Allah in His mercy gives us whatever help we need to return to Him. When we do return to Him, and he sees in our hearts that we are really sorry to have strayed, then He forgives us.
Radi: You have been brought up in our faith, and you know that Allah has already chosen our paths… . (Modi interrupts)
Modi: I do not want to hear that stuff again. We are not predestined for Paradise or the fire, and we do have choices in our lives.
Mani: I thought the only way out of the scheduled path was to become a martyr.
Modi: Many imams and others want us to think that way, especially when they are recruiting for suicide bombers. Allah has told us that life is much too precious to waste. When a person is fighting a religious war but is killed IN THE COURSE OF FIGHTING, that person is a martyr. In this war of insurgency, which is not a religious war, very unscrupulous commanders are wasting our youth by inducing them to commit suicide to gain a tactical advantage—and sometimes to retaliate against someone or some group. That is not right; it is not Islam.
Radi: You have it all wrong. It is all blasphemy! You should lose your head. It is a religious war, pure and simple!
Modi: One would think, Radi, that the tenets of Islam would be that we wait and support a democratic government that promises peace and freedom. If in the course of events the government begins to issue rules against our religion, then we can think in terms of jihad.
Mani: By Allah, Radi, I think Modi may be right on that issue. People are dying, and they do not know why. Our children—our future—are being wasted by blowing themselves apart for nothing! Radi, can’t your friends stop this mess?
Radi: You not only refuse to fight in the way of Allah, you insult the martyrs and our holy fighters. (bares his large knife) My knife will be the sword of Allah, and I will remove your heads as our Most Beloved removed the heads of the treasonous 600 Bani Qurayzah!
Modi: Radi, put that thing away! If you want to discuss the bin Qurayzah, we will talk about killing all the men and many boys of an entire tribe of Jews and enslaving their women. All of that, because the Jews would not abandon their religion, nor would they fight on the Sabbath to defend themselves. I am surprised you even mentioned it.
Mani: Of all the great things accomplished during the creation of our beloved Islam, the one image that I cannot erase from my mind is “the old married woman," 12-year-old Aisha, our Most Beloved’s wife, allowed to watch the ghastly executions that lasted far into the night.
Radi: You will both be thrown into the fire and will suffer throughout eternity! You will not be able to cry in anguish because your heads will be elsewhere, eaten by dogs.
Mani: Modi, I think I may be losing my appetite.
Modi: Yes, me too. I think that the “eaten by dogs” thing did it.
Radi: Hey, wait a minute! That new restaurant opens today.
Mani: What do you think, Modi? Can we get our appetite back before we get there?
Modi: I doubt it. That last outburst was rather gross.
Radi: Please fellows! I’m hungry, and it’s Mani’s turn.
Mani: Allah be praised! He said, "Please." Did you hear that?
Modi: I certainly did. Make him say, “Pretty please.”
Radi: Why you… . (chases them, brandishing his knife)
HJS
Mani (Mainstream): Allah be praised! Just what did Modi tell you, Radi?
Radi: He told me a few things about history’s repeating itself unless we continually look at the past to get a better handle on the present. My imam’s brother is a teacher. He told me that when he was a lad he had heard stories about what Modi told me.
Mani: Modi, what did you tell him?
Modi: I simply mentioned that the Middle East has always been important to the Americans, even before their Constitution[1]. In fact, we Arabs were the reason for the individual states’ finally getting together and creating their Constitution and the reason for their finally—against much objection—building their own navy.[2]
Radi: What is really strange—and funny—is that the people in the Northeast were against creating a navy. THEY WERE AFRAID THEIR EUROPEAN FRIENDS WOULD BE OFFENDED if they built a navy to protect their commerce[3]. At the time, it seemed as if George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were the only two people who believed the Americans had the stomach to defend themselves. Remember, this was after a hard-fought war for their independence from Great Britain!
Modi: And how about this one: Jefferson suggested to the Europeans that instead of paying all that annual tribute money to our Barbary pirates, the Americans should build a fleet and combine with Europe’s great navies to suppress the terrorism on the Mediterranean. Europe, especially France, refused. The excuse they gave was that it was more cost-effective to pay us extortion. We found out much later that the Europeans simply were afraid of us.[4]
Radi: In the end, America had to create its Constitution, strengthen its federal government, build a navy, and attack our Arab terrorists and the states sponsoring them.
Mani: I have not heard or read any of those stories.
Modi: Don’t feel bad; neither have many Americans. They know that their American squadrons finally won, but only after we handed them their tail feathers dozens of times and made them pay millions to get their sailors back. The Americans won because they had to put together a larger force to fight the British for the second time. One could also say that they beat the British at sea using the same tactics we used on the Yankee squadrons in the Mediterranean Sea.[5]
Mani: (laughs) This stuff is great. For once, I am glad Radi brought something up to discuss. I have to get some of these books to read.
Modi: You will have to learn a Western language, Mani. Thanks to our Salafist friends, we do not have many books available that are not strictly religious. As you well know, some of the imams constantly say not to read. How many times have you heard, “If it agrees with the Qur’an, you should already know it; if it does not agree with the Qur’an, you should not read it.”
Radi: I agree with that.
Modi: But if you agreed with that wholeheartedly, Radi, you would not want to know the things I just shared with you. You must have some doubt.
Radi: Those things were only tidbits, Modi. I already have forgotten them. The only important knowledge is in the Qur’an and the Hadiths. It is only important that we all fear Allah and we worship Him properly.
Mani: Isn’t it important that Allah loves us? Has that gotten lost somewhere in our faith? How can He be all merciful and all forgiving if He does not love us?
Modi: Radi, Mani has very good points there. You need to give those things some more thought. I bring up my kids to love Allah, and I most assuredly tell them that Allah loves us in return. I let them know that even if we sometimes go astray, Allah in His mercy gives us whatever help we need to return to Him. When we do return to Him, and he sees in our hearts that we are really sorry to have strayed, then He forgives us.
Radi: You have been brought up in our faith, and you know that Allah has already chosen our paths… . (Modi interrupts)
Modi: I do not want to hear that stuff again. We are not predestined for Paradise or the fire, and we do have choices in our lives.
Mani: I thought the only way out of the scheduled path was to become a martyr.
Modi: Many imams and others want us to think that way, especially when they are recruiting for suicide bombers. Allah has told us that life is much too precious to waste. When a person is fighting a religious war but is killed IN THE COURSE OF FIGHTING, that person is a martyr. In this war of insurgency, which is not a religious war, very unscrupulous commanders are wasting our youth by inducing them to commit suicide to gain a tactical advantage—and sometimes to retaliate against someone or some group. That is not right; it is not Islam.
Radi: You have it all wrong. It is all blasphemy! You should lose your head. It is a religious war, pure and simple!
Modi: One would think, Radi, that the tenets of Islam would be that we wait and support a democratic government that promises peace and freedom. If in the course of events the government begins to issue rules against our religion, then we can think in terms of jihad.
Mani: By Allah, Radi, I think Modi may be right on that issue. People are dying, and they do not know why. Our children—our future—are being wasted by blowing themselves apart for nothing! Radi, can’t your friends stop this mess?
Radi: You not only refuse to fight in the way of Allah, you insult the martyrs and our holy fighters. (bares his large knife) My knife will be the sword of Allah, and I will remove your heads as our Most Beloved removed the heads of the treasonous 600 Bani Qurayzah!
Modi: Radi, put that thing away! If you want to discuss the bin Qurayzah, we will talk about killing all the men and many boys of an entire tribe of Jews and enslaving their women. All of that, because the Jews would not abandon their religion, nor would they fight on the Sabbath to defend themselves. I am surprised you even mentioned it.
Mani: Of all the great things accomplished during the creation of our beloved Islam, the one image that I cannot erase from my mind is “the old married woman," 12-year-old Aisha, our Most Beloved’s wife, allowed to watch the ghastly executions that lasted far into the night.
Radi: You will both be thrown into the fire and will suffer throughout eternity! You will not be able to cry in anguish because your heads will be elsewhere, eaten by dogs.
Mani: Modi, I think I may be losing my appetite.
Modi: Yes, me too. I think that the “eaten by dogs” thing did it.
Radi: Hey, wait a minute! That new restaurant opens today.
Mani: What do you think, Modi? Can we get our appetite back before we get there?
Modi: I doubt it. That last outburst was rather gross.
Radi: Please fellows! I’m hungry, and it’s Mani’s turn.
Mani: Allah be praised! He said, "Please." Did you hear that?
Modi: I certainly did. Make him say, “Pretty please.”
Radi: Why you… . (chases them, brandishing his knife)
HJS
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