Modi (Moderate): Are you okay, Mani? That mortar was too close. It must have been an 81mm.
Mani (Mainstream): It was indeed close. I can hardly hear. Everything is okay, though. Are you sure that wasn’t a bomb?
Modi: It seemed like it. But it was definitely an 81mm mortar instead of the 60mm. Al-Qaeda is getting serious about pounding us.
Mani: Do our folks have a plan here, or are they calling in a coalition air strike, or what? These AQ fighters are tough.
Modi: It seems like a good plan to me. We are to keep pressure on them as long as possible to hold them here. We’ve been here an hour and I think they have been wearing us down with those 81’s. Group 2 will begin pressuring them from the rear and Group 3 from the left. They will lob in HE’s. We then must back up and search for tunnel entrances.
Mani: Is that a Group 2 mortar I just heard?
Modi: I hope so. Yep, it landed inside the village. When six mortars begin lobbing, they are finished. I hear two more pops. Now we should search for tunnel entrances.
The next day…
Modi: We did well last night, Mani. We closed down another AQ village and you found that tunnel entrance.
Mani: Just luck. I almost stumbled into it.
Modi: But luck never happens until you do what it takes to get there.
Mani: I am just glad that some of those chaps surrendered. I had hoped they would not fight to the death. Anyway, we can take a few days off.
Modi: Those AQ people are bad news. They did not leave too many fighters above ground to try to hold us off while the others got away. If you hadn’t found that tunnel, taking the compound would have been for nothing. We took many prisoners. You may get a bonus for finding it.
Radi (Radical): Good morning, you two. You look like cats that ate a canary. What is going on?
Mani: We heard another AQ camp was taken last night. They captured another leader and lots of fighters.
Radi: Probably just another coalition rumor. How can they say they captured this person or that? We all know they fight to the death.
Modi: Not this time, Radi. Quite a few fighters were rounded up.
Radi: Bah! It was probably a ruse. Wait and see. Al-Qaeda will strike tomorrow and blow something up that was important.
Modi: Yeah, probably another girls’ school.
Mani: They are getting pretty good at girls’ schools.
Radi: You are insulting AQ fighters and their supporters. They are fighting in the way of Allah.
Modi: I am not going to keep telling you how I feel about that. This war and AQ has nothing to do with our religion. Radi, how many Mosques have been destroyed by the coalition? How many imams were kidnapped or killed by the coalition? How many Qur’ans have been destroyed?
Radi: Well, what about Abu Ghraib?
Mani: (laughs) Anyone who looks at that seriously is a moron! So what if a couple of strong, brave, fierce fighters found themselves in embarrassing positions? HOW MANY GRAVES HAD TO BE DUG AS A RESULT? On the scale of things that happened in Iraq, especially by Saddam yesterday and by al-Qaeda and the Mahdi army today, Abu Ghraib was not even a wart on some American senator’s red nose.
Modi: Mani’s right. When looked at alongside what Zarqawi has done to innocent Iraqi people, AG does not rise to sticking your thumb on your nose and waving your fingers. No prudent Iraqi that I know even considers AG as anything to think about and everyone of us was shocked, shocked when the Americans themselves made such a big deal out of it. Somebody there is not right in the head.
Radi: You are asking for it. Meanwhile, we will continue to fight and with Allah’s help, we will win here and everywhere. Even now the European governments are considering the Sharia.
Modi: Considering, but not buying, Radi. Why would any European that has no death wish want a legal system that only protects Muslims?
Radi: It is simply acknowledging that we are superior to them, that’s all. You must remember that we are the chosen people of Allah.
Modi: For the chosen people of Allah, we have not done very well for ourselves. If you look at our living standards and our economy—even with all of our oil—we look impoverished compared to Europe and America. And speaking of America, the Believers that live there are quite happy to be there. And even the Muslim residents of Israel are rebelling against a plan to transfer ownership of those parts of Israel to the Palestinian Authority, making them Palestinian Arabs instead of Israeli Arabs.
Mani: I remember. None of the Arab residents of Israel voted in the Palestinian elections for fear of jeopardizing their status as residents of Israel.[1]
Radi: You two are in a conspiracy to commit heresy and blasphemy. How can you turn against Allah as you are doing and deny Him the world that He himself created?
Modi: Radi, nothing anywhere says that He created the world specifically for us. I love my religion, but I see nothing written anywhere that says that we who are supposed to be His chosen people have any moral authority to make war on other nations now—nations that are not a danger to Islam—and take what belongs to them.
Radi: You forget, Allah wants to hear ‘Allahu Akbar” ring out from every corner of the world.
Modi: That is the Ayatollah Khomeini’s words, Radi. We are responsible for bringing the Qur’an and the Sharia to the world. We are not truly responsible for shoving it down everyone’s throats. There should be no compulsion in religion.
Radi: What about Sura 2, ayats 190 and 193?[2] They tell us to convert the world to Islam and keep fighting until we are successful.
Modi: I know it has been interpreted that way, but only by radicals who themselves want to see a Muslim world no matter what it costs. You are talking about hundreds of millions of people—men, women, and children. Is having everybody Muslim really worth all of those lives lost?
Radi: Of course I do. It is well worth that and more if that is what it takes.
Mani: Radi, you are a sadist!
Radi: I thought I was a Salafist!
Modi: You’re a nitwit! Now let’s go eat.
HJS
[1] http://www.danielpipes.org/article/2534
[2] 2:190 Fight in the way of Allah those who fight you but do not transgress. Indeed. Allah does not like transgressors. 2:193 Fight them until there is no [more] fitnah and [until] worship is [acknowledged to be] for Allah. But if they cease, then there is to be no aggression except against the oppressors
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