I am straying just a little on this little talk
and taking a brief look
at the distaff side of the Modi, Mani, and Radi
arguments. HJS
Hayat (wife of Modi, Moderate): I am glad that you dropped over today. Modi’s parents will be here later and I have to make a meal with which I am not certain.
Barma (wife of Mani, Mainstream): Oh, okay. And they are from where?
Hayat: They were from Egypt. But I have no idea what dishes to prepare for Egyptians.
Barma: That is not a problem. I can do a couple of Egyptian dishes just to spice things up; they also would like most of the things we like anyway.
Hayat: I hope I have the ingredients here.
Barma: No problem; their meals are relatively simple. Not to worry.
Hayat: Someone is coming in the gate; it must be Zaina. She is helpful, too. She told me yesterday she knew of a special dish.
Zaina (Fiancée of sorts to Radi): Hi, everyone. Hayat, I took the liberty of putting that dish together for you. Where do you want it?
Hayat: I’ll take care of it. How is that husband-to-be of yours doing?
Zaina: Don’t ask. We are no closer to getting married than we were last year. He is impossible; I have no idea why I like him.
Hayat: I can tell you that from what I have seen, love is not only blind, it’s stupid. You must have a death wish. Modi tells me how he is.
Barma: Oh, yes. He has Mani scared to death with that big knife.
Zaina: (Laughs) That knife is not his; he borrowed it from our kitchen. He said he knew a good friend with a better wheel that sharpened knives like a razor. He just never brought it back.
Hayat: Well what about all that crazy stuff he does at night?
Zaina: He just goes along with some friends of his, but they won’t let him go along all the time; he talks too much.
Barma: Oh, yes. Mani would agree with that. Mani has heard all those nasty arguments between Modi and him. Mani does not know which of the two to rely on. The three are such friends that Mani does not want to offend either of the others; however, the subject matter is too important to ignore. Modi and Radi are exact opposites in their views on Islam.
Hayat: I for one am glad that Modi is the way he is. He lives exactly the way he explains his view of religion. We talk a lot and he asks me all the time what I need for the house. I have the freedom to leave the house whenever I want; he just asks that I be careful of the old beards and take someone else with me to avoid any talk. He would like to visit another country so we can park some of our conservative clothing and do things together—a little recreation—a little privacy.
Barma: Modi did say something like that to Mani. Unfortunately, Radi heard part of it, Mani said, and raised a big fuss about how the Qur’an, the Sira, and the Hadiths lay out exactly how a man must act with his wife. Modi, spoke up, as usual, and told Radi something about the relationship of a man and his wife should rise above the pettiness of the old beards and truly be none of their business.
Zaina: Oh, I remember that one. Radi went berserk because Modi said that the relationship between a man and his wife was between them and Allah. I wanted to tell Radi that I did not intend to be very strict about all those stupid taboos, but not after he pitched a fit about Modi.
Hayat: Oh, I can just hear Radi now on that one. Modi said the same thing about prayers. He always prayed, but if he had to go somewhere and help a friend, he considered it more important than prayer.
Zaina: Oh, yes. Radi yelled for a half hour while my parents were trying to eat. They almost asked him to leave. My parents were from the old school also, and feel about the same as he does. However, they do not talk about it and do not force their views on me.
Hayat: Won’t Radi? He is fire and brimstone and off-with-their-heads when arguing with Modi. He is one of the younger “old beards”.
Zaina: Well, don’t tell anyone I told you, but I stopped his harangue one evening and told him in front of my parents that I will be faithful and as obedient as I believe a wife should be. However, I told him if he raises his hand to me or scolds me in front of someone else, I will divorce him just that quick and make him pay back the dowry.
Barma: Knowing Radi, I know he did not like the part about returning the dowry.
Hayat: I can see why Radi has not gotten married yet. He is afraid of you. He could not show off to others just how much of a Lord and Master he is in the house.
Zaina: Well, it is my life as well as his. You know, I said that as soon as the wedding is over, I am going to sign a paper that says “I divorce you if you raise your hand to me or humiliate me.”
Barma: You can do that?
Zaina: Yep. And if he ever does, it is a legal divorce. The imam has to try to get us back together and talk about it, but it is a divorce as valid as if I had said, “I divorce you” three times in front of him.
Barma: Does he show visible signs that he loves you?
Zaina: Yes, that is why I can get away with all of that. Believe me; I am very glad that my parents are as conservative as they are. Otherwise, we would have been in a lot of trouble. It will not be too long before I let him know when the wedding will be.
Hayat: (Laughs) Oh, he will love that. He will drive Modi and Mani up a wall for days. (Barma laughs)
Hayat: Is Radi really as conservative as he lets on?
Zaina: Oh, yes. He would no sooner miss or be late for a prayer than miss or be late for a meal. (Everyone laughs)
Barma: How does he feel about Mani not always siding with him?
Zaina: He says that Modi confuses him from time to time, but when push comes to shove, when the insurgents win, he will come over to the radical side quickly. Mani has been trained well and will never push aside the scriptures.
Hayat: That is exactly what Modi fears. He is so afraid that we will languish under a totalitarian regime and that all of the mainstreamers will do nothing to stop it.
Zaina: I won’t say this to Radi, but we women need to put together some kind of movement and roust some of these kitchen-shadows out of their houses and into our own organization. We need to show them how to dress and park those abayas and chadors in some dusty closet. One of these days, just for the sake of mischief, I will warn my folks first, and then when Radi shows up I will come downstairs in a miniskirt and sheer blouse. If he does not faint dead away, he will want to get married toute de suite.
As far as men are concerned, the men will always find themselves in plural organizations. There must be at least 50 different organizations here for them. We only need one. I have to have a name that will tell who we are and who we want to be and at the same time will immediately grab everyone’s attention.
Hayat: I know. How about “The Playmate Club”? (Laughter)
HJS
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