Modi (Moderate): Good morning, old pals of mine. Nice day.
Mani (Mainstream): Uh-oh! Radi, something is up with Modi. He is almost too eager to share it with us.
Radi (Radical): I noticed. Shall we just ignore him?
Modi: Another Al-Qaeda chief is now in American custody.
Mani: I saw that. He was betrayed by local citizens.
Modi: Mani, you are wrong. Al-Qaeda is the betrayer, not the local people who turn them into the authorities. The local people know who the bad guys are.
Radi: Al-Qaeda is not the betrayer; they are the heroes who are fighting for our freedom and for Islam! Everyone who disputes this fact should be killed!
Modi: Get real, Radi. Al-Qaeda is just another extension of the Taliban. If anything, they want to destroy the idea of freedom—freedom comes with democracy. Democracy terrifies them. They want to see everyone, man woman and child, in chains.
Mani: Now just how do you figure they could do that? There aren't enough chains.
Modi: Mental chains, the chains with which the logic-blind, hairy-faced, mean-spirited imams from the seventh century time warp keep wrapping up the unwary worshipper in the Saudi-financed Mosques. They have been trying to turn out mealy-mouthed zombies for years, if they can’t successfully turn out trained killers. They have been very successful in the killer category, recruiting people who will kill at the drop of a hat—and they will drop the hat. In addition, the only reward they ask is a quick death. The best armies in the world could not recruit people like that.
Radi: None of that is true. We have very kind, learned imams that remind people what their responsibilities are according to our scriptures.
Mani: That is right, Modi. The Saudi imams are only bringing us back to the true religion.
Modi: Get real! That is so much crap, I am amazed you don’t see through it, Mani. Radi, I understand. He has his own agenda. He likes to hurt, maim, or kill people that make mistakes. He will fight to the death to keep such a regime in power and so many victims in his grasp. He enjoys meting out punishment to the "sinners".
Radi: You have me all wrong, Modi. I love my religion and I hate sinners. Sinners need to be punished to keep everyone in line.
Modi: Do you understand what Radi is saying, Mani? It is about what I told you. He will kill to keep everyone in line. Is that not suppressing freedom? Is that not suppressing democracy? Why must everyone be in line?
Mani: He is just practicing his religion.
Modi: NO! That is not religion! That is totalitarian and it is murder! Religion is love and tolerance, not hate and murder! We have no right to point at this person and call him a sinner. That is only between Allah and him! Everyone else should BUTT OUT! Religion is kindness, gentleness, love, and patience. We Believers must ourselves believe that love of Allah is an individual thing, not a communal or universal ritual. We are all human and sometimes we make mistakes or need a change in schedule from doing the same things over and over. We must not look askance at those who want to do things differently. Sometimes it appears that these mule-headed imams want to bore Allah to tears.
Radi: Our scriptures have laid out for us what we are to do.
Modi: Our scriptures have only given us a start. They have shown us what we had to do in the seventh century to build this religion. Later on, as the rest of the world grew physically and mentally--changed, some of our best imams began to grow also and we learned new rules and new tolerance. We began to climb out of the dark ages. Then this old Grinch of a sadist took to the pulpit, declaring we needed to climb back into the hole we were in and forget everything after the death of our Most Beloved.
Mani: You must admit he had many followers.
Modi: No, he didn’t, but that is a story for another day. The problem with some worshippers is they are never satisfied that they worshipped long enough or ardent enough, so they always fall for the people who encourage the thought. Who really cares whether a person prays five times per day or just one? Do you think Allah in all his wisdom and kindness cares how many times per day each of us prays?
Mani: But he put that in as one of the Pillars. We must pray five times per day.
Modi: It is one of the Pillars, yes; however, the idea did not originate with Allah. Truth be told, it was probably a Persian idea. In fact, each of the Pillars, except perhaps the profession of faith, to some extant predated Islam. That is not important. Nonetheless, other religions did have similar professions of faith before the coming of Islam.
Radi: But Islam is the completion of all the other religions.
Modi: That is only propaganda. I wouldn’t take any bets on that. And what does it matter which came first or which came last? All of that trivia is unimportant. Radi, we are getting away from the main point. Al-Qaeda is not fighting for our freedoms. It is true to some extant that the Coalition is fighting for our hearts and minds. What that means is, they want us to understand that we are not the enemy and so have nothing to fear from them. They do not interfere with our government--I for one wish they would build a fire under it. On the other hand, Al-Qaeda is fighting for our souls. That means they want us to believe the strict nonsense of the Salafist and Wahabbis—all the people we used to laugh and jeer at before they got the oil money. It is payback time and they want to control all of Islam. What that means is they want to control every action and every thought of every Believer . If you even appear to be less than ardent in your prayer, or even more than ardent, you may die for it.
Mani: You must be exaggerating. Nobody wants that much power, nor would anybody give anyone that much power.
Modi: Ask the people who lived in the recently cleared Al-Qaeda run area. Research the history of the Taliban in Afghanistan. Read up on Wahabbism. Look, we all want to worship Allah; however, we do not want the ethics police coming into every home before dawn and marching everyone to the prayer ground—and beating you if you dare to yawn. You have daughters, Mani. You could not educate them under the Salafists or let them play beyond a certain age. You may be told at any age you must turn them over to the Taliban who have already selected husbands for them. Would you defend this country against such a Taliban, Mani?
Mani: I think so, but how could I if they are simply stricter in their religion than I? Perhaps it is what I need—to practice being a better Believer. I want to be the best and strictest Believer I can be.
Modi: Why? Allah knows you and loves you as you are! We are not competing for heaven; there is room for everyone--except those false prophets and those Believers that are false to themselves. Look, not every Believer has five prayers a day in him. He would be a much better person with three prayers, or even two! Allah does not care! If we love Him and are happy with ourselves and our families, He is happy with us. Don't believe anything those other nitwits say--how in hell do they know? They bloody well don't!
Mani: I still think I should spend more time worshipping Allah.
Modi: Sometimes, Mani, I think of you not as skin and bones, but as bricks and mortar.
Radi: Mani is much closer to me than you think.
Modi: But all brick walls crack somewhere. No matter, I can see by the sun that it is time to think about prayers and lunch. My throat is dry and I need some liquid patience. What do I need to do to get a drink around here, turn Christian?
Radi: No, just got to one of the cafes and ask for "Saudi coffee".
hjs
Mani (Mainstream): Uh-oh! Radi, something is up with Modi. He is almost too eager to share it with us.
Radi (Radical): I noticed. Shall we just ignore him?
Modi: Another Al-Qaeda chief is now in American custody.
Mani: I saw that. He was betrayed by local citizens.
Modi: Mani, you are wrong. Al-Qaeda is the betrayer, not the local people who turn them into the authorities. The local people know who the bad guys are.
Radi: Al-Qaeda is not the betrayer; they are the heroes who are fighting for our freedom and for Islam! Everyone who disputes this fact should be killed!
Modi: Get real, Radi. Al-Qaeda is just another extension of the Taliban. If anything, they want to destroy the idea of freedom—freedom comes with democracy. Democracy terrifies them. They want to see everyone, man woman and child, in chains.
Mani: Now just how do you figure they could do that? There aren't enough chains.
Modi: Mental chains, the chains with which the logic-blind, hairy-faced, mean-spirited imams from the seventh century time warp keep wrapping up the unwary worshipper in the Saudi-financed Mosques. They have been trying to turn out mealy-mouthed zombies for years, if they can’t successfully turn out trained killers. They have been very successful in the killer category, recruiting people who will kill at the drop of a hat—and they will drop the hat. In addition, the only reward they ask is a quick death. The best armies in the world could not recruit people like that.
Radi: None of that is true. We have very kind, learned imams that remind people what their responsibilities are according to our scriptures.
Mani: That is right, Modi. The Saudi imams are only bringing us back to the true religion.
Modi: Get real! That is so much crap, I am amazed you don’t see through it, Mani. Radi, I understand. He has his own agenda. He likes to hurt, maim, or kill people that make mistakes. He will fight to the death to keep such a regime in power and so many victims in his grasp. He enjoys meting out punishment to the "sinners".
Radi: You have me all wrong, Modi. I love my religion and I hate sinners. Sinners need to be punished to keep everyone in line.
Modi: Do you understand what Radi is saying, Mani? It is about what I told you. He will kill to keep everyone in line. Is that not suppressing freedom? Is that not suppressing democracy? Why must everyone be in line?
Mani: He is just practicing his religion.
Modi: NO! That is not religion! That is totalitarian and it is murder! Religion is love and tolerance, not hate and murder! We have no right to point at this person and call him a sinner. That is only between Allah and him! Everyone else should BUTT OUT! Religion is kindness, gentleness, love, and patience. We Believers must ourselves believe that love of Allah is an individual thing, not a communal or universal ritual. We are all human and sometimes we make mistakes or need a change in schedule from doing the same things over and over. We must not look askance at those who want to do things differently. Sometimes it appears that these mule-headed imams want to bore Allah to tears.
Radi: Our scriptures have laid out for us what we are to do.
Modi: Our scriptures have only given us a start. They have shown us what we had to do in the seventh century to build this religion. Later on, as the rest of the world grew physically and mentally--changed, some of our best imams began to grow also and we learned new rules and new tolerance. We began to climb out of the dark ages. Then this old Grinch of a sadist took to the pulpit, declaring we needed to climb back into the hole we were in and forget everything after the death of our Most Beloved.
Mani: You must admit he had many followers.
Modi: No, he didn’t, but that is a story for another day. The problem with some worshippers is they are never satisfied that they worshipped long enough or ardent enough, so they always fall for the people who encourage the thought. Who really cares whether a person prays five times per day or just one? Do you think Allah in all his wisdom and kindness cares how many times per day each of us prays?
Mani: But he put that in as one of the Pillars. We must pray five times per day.
Modi: It is one of the Pillars, yes; however, the idea did not originate with Allah. Truth be told, it was probably a Persian idea. In fact, each of the Pillars, except perhaps the profession of faith, to some extant predated Islam. That is not important. Nonetheless, other religions did have similar professions of faith before the coming of Islam.
Radi: But Islam is the completion of all the other religions.
Modi: That is only propaganda. I wouldn’t take any bets on that. And what does it matter which came first or which came last? All of that trivia is unimportant. Radi, we are getting away from the main point. Al-Qaeda is not fighting for our freedoms. It is true to some extant that the Coalition is fighting for our hearts and minds. What that means is, they want us to understand that we are not the enemy and so have nothing to fear from them. They do not interfere with our government--I for one wish they would build a fire under it. On the other hand, Al-Qaeda is fighting for our souls. That means they want us to believe the strict nonsense of the Salafist and Wahabbis—all the people we used to laugh and jeer at before they got the oil money. It is payback time and they want to control all of Islam. What that means is they want to control every action and every thought of every Believer . If you even appear to be less than ardent in your prayer, or even more than ardent, you may die for it.
Mani: You must be exaggerating. Nobody wants that much power, nor would anybody give anyone that much power.
Modi: Ask the people who lived in the recently cleared Al-Qaeda run area. Research the history of the Taliban in Afghanistan. Read up on Wahabbism. Look, we all want to worship Allah; however, we do not want the ethics police coming into every home before dawn and marching everyone to the prayer ground—and beating you if you dare to yawn. You have daughters, Mani. You could not educate them under the Salafists or let them play beyond a certain age. You may be told at any age you must turn them over to the Taliban who have already selected husbands for them. Would you defend this country against such a Taliban, Mani?
Mani: I think so, but how could I if they are simply stricter in their religion than I? Perhaps it is what I need—to practice being a better Believer. I want to be the best and strictest Believer I can be.
Modi: Why? Allah knows you and loves you as you are! We are not competing for heaven; there is room for everyone--except those false prophets and those Believers that are false to themselves. Look, not every Believer has five prayers a day in him. He would be a much better person with three prayers, or even two! Allah does not care! If we love Him and are happy with ourselves and our families, He is happy with us. Don't believe anything those other nitwits say--how in hell do they know? They bloody well don't!
Mani: I still think I should spend more time worshipping Allah.
Modi: Sometimes, Mani, I think of you not as skin and bones, but as bricks and mortar.
Radi: Mani is much closer to me than you think.
Modi: But all brick walls crack somewhere. No matter, I can see by the sun that it is time to think about prayers and lunch. My throat is dry and I need some liquid patience. What do I need to do to get a drink around here, turn Christian?
Radi: No, just got to one of the cafes and ask for "Saudi coffee".
hjs
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