Mani (mainstream): Good morning, Radi. Where is Modi?
Radi (radical): [bears large knife] I made a good moderate of him.
Mani: What? You are kidding me. There’s Modi now. Hello, Modi.
Modi (moderate): What is all the fuss? Radi is playing with his pet knife.
Mani: He is in good humor this morning.
Modi: Oh? You found someone to decapitate, eh? Who was it? Did someone turn Christian or Jew? Did you catch a heretic?
Radi: You don’t appreciate our nocturnal patrols to keep Islam free, do you?
Mani: Keep Islam free of what? Heretics? Little girls without hijabs?
Radi: Last night we discovered a whole nest of people who were talking about reform.
Mani: Reform? Whoa! I bet that went over well with your gang.
Radi: Yeah, we wiped them out—every one.
Modi: Wait a minute here! You took it among yourself to kill people without taking them to court—or anything? Do you call that justice!
Radi: When will you learn, Modi, it is the duty of each of us to stop people that would hurt Islam. We must all be on the alert for that.
Modi: How would reformers hurt Islam? Aren’t they trying to make it better, easier? If someone discovers something wrong, doesn’t he have an obligation to change it?
Radi: See! You do not understand at all! How can you reform something that is perfect? Islam is perfect! It was given to us by Allah! It is perfect and so cannot be changed. That includes the Qur’an and the Hadiths. They must endure unchanged forever! Every hint of reform must always be stomped out quickly and completely.
Modi: Radi, nothing in this life is perfect. Everything that is touched by humans has a fault somewhere. None of us is perfect. Except you, of course; you are a perfect lunatic.
Radi: Tell him, Mani, our Most Beloved was perfect and led a perfect life. We must emulate his every step. We are told always to do what he had done under similar circumstances.
Mani: I have to agree with Radi. The Messenger indeed was a perfect man and he led a perfect life. Everyone emulates him.
Modi: He never made a mistake?
Radi: No, never.
Modi: The Satanic Verses was not a mistake?
Radi: [Brandishes his knife]: Mani, I’m going to kill him. [Mani stops him]
Modi: Typical Salafist response, Mani. Kill everyone who does not agree entirely! What a world that would be.
Mani: You should not have brought up those verses. Many people are still very upset about that. Suppose I wasn't here to hold him back?
Modi: So the Messenger made a mistake, so what. [Looks directly at Radi] He admitted that mistake, Radi. Admitted it! He tried to end the persecution of his people and bring them back from exile, so he agreed to accept two Meccan gods. It did not take him long to realize it was a mistake and he corrected it. So what? Who cares? It was nothing; he was human. He tried to accommodate the Meccans in order to save his people and it backfired. If anything, it showed his concern for his people.
Mani: Radi is never going to accept that, Modi. I am not certain that I can accept it.
Modi: If it were proven to be true, Mani, would the Prophet be any less in your eyes?
Mani: Of course not.
Modi: Radi’s either, I know. Therefore, we won’t pursue it because it does not really matter. It is the refusal of some believers to accept it that is the problem.
Mani: Why is that a problem?
Modi: Because no one is perfect, no one! In addition, nothing written as rules for all humanity to follow can be perfect for all ages and in all places.
Radi: What about the American Constitution that you admire so much?
Modi: Nobody ever said it was perfect—but it is better than anything anywhere else. No honest-to-goodness American would ever change its basic philosophy.
Mani: Then why are so many people in America, even Supreme Court Judges, demanding to change some of it! Some want it gone!
Modi: Because they’re stupid, Mani, stupid!
Radi: So it is stupid to reform the American Constitution but not stupid to reform Islam. Sounds like bigotry to me.
Modi: You can look at it that way if you like, but the American Constitution is much different that our scriptures. First, it is not based on warfare. The American Constitution does not tell Americans not to take the Japanese or the Germans or the North Koreans for friends. The Constitution does not demand that Vietnamese be killed wherever they are found. The Constitution certainly never demanded a raid on a country in order to kill all of their men and divide up all of their assets.
Mani: I think he has you there, Radi. I think we should drop the idea of comparing Islam to the Constitution.
Modi: How could there ever be a comparison? The Constitution mainly spells out the rights of the people. The scriptures we are discussing spell out only the rights of Allah and the responsibilities of the people toward Allah. I would hope that a reform movement would give some attention to the rights of the people.
Radi: I don’t believe anything you say. I cannot. It is all a vicious lie. You should die!
Modi: I know you don't believe it, Radi. Mani has a tough time with it also.
Radi: Even your words are alien to me. I can never, ever, listen to or allow to continue any suggestion of reform. Reform is completely out of the question now and forever. I look at the word reform as the head of a snake. As soon as it raises its ugly head, it must be killed quickly.
Modi: I have often thought, Radi, that you live in a black-and-white world. Colors must really confuse you sometimes. The Ottomans found that they cannot rule half the world from their headquarters unless they allowed regional changes. Only the Salafists have not learned that lesson.
Radi: We will still defeat the West and the new Caliphate will rule the entire world.
Modi: If the religion allows itself to be changed it can take its place as a major religion in this world of ours. At that point, it will not want to rule any world. Any religion that demands to rule the entire world has a death wish. If it doesn’t change, it becomes a danger to the rest of the world because of what it teaches. You just cannot go around preaching “kill everyone but us.”
Radi: Why not? Why the hell not?
Modi: See, Mani. He doesn’t know why not.
Mani: I don’t really see it either, Modi. I guess I am against reform also. I would listen, of course, but not as long as any radicals were around.
Modi: Sometimes I have the impression we are not all in the same religion.
hjs
Radi (radical): [bears large knife] I made a good moderate of him.
Mani: What? You are kidding me. There’s Modi now. Hello, Modi.
Modi (moderate): What is all the fuss? Radi is playing with his pet knife.
Mani: He is in good humor this morning.
Modi: Oh? You found someone to decapitate, eh? Who was it? Did someone turn Christian or Jew? Did you catch a heretic?
Radi: You don’t appreciate our nocturnal patrols to keep Islam free, do you?
Mani: Keep Islam free of what? Heretics? Little girls without hijabs?
Radi: Last night we discovered a whole nest of people who were talking about reform.
Mani: Reform? Whoa! I bet that went over well with your gang.
Radi: Yeah, we wiped them out—every one.
Modi: Wait a minute here! You took it among yourself to kill people without taking them to court—or anything? Do you call that justice!
Radi: When will you learn, Modi, it is the duty of each of us to stop people that would hurt Islam. We must all be on the alert for that.
Modi: How would reformers hurt Islam? Aren’t they trying to make it better, easier? If someone discovers something wrong, doesn’t he have an obligation to change it?
Radi: See! You do not understand at all! How can you reform something that is perfect? Islam is perfect! It was given to us by Allah! It is perfect and so cannot be changed. That includes the Qur’an and the Hadiths. They must endure unchanged forever! Every hint of reform must always be stomped out quickly and completely.
Modi: Radi, nothing in this life is perfect. Everything that is touched by humans has a fault somewhere. None of us is perfect. Except you, of course; you are a perfect lunatic.
Radi: Tell him, Mani, our Most Beloved was perfect and led a perfect life. We must emulate his every step. We are told always to do what he had done under similar circumstances.
Mani: I have to agree with Radi. The Messenger indeed was a perfect man and he led a perfect life. Everyone emulates him.
Modi: He never made a mistake?
Radi: No, never.
Modi: The Satanic Verses was not a mistake?
Radi: [Brandishes his knife]: Mani, I’m going to kill him. [Mani stops him]
Modi: Typical Salafist response, Mani. Kill everyone who does not agree entirely! What a world that would be.
Mani: You should not have brought up those verses. Many people are still very upset about that. Suppose I wasn't here to hold him back?
Modi: So the Messenger made a mistake, so what. [Looks directly at Radi] He admitted that mistake, Radi. Admitted it! He tried to end the persecution of his people and bring them back from exile, so he agreed to accept two Meccan gods. It did not take him long to realize it was a mistake and he corrected it. So what? Who cares? It was nothing; he was human. He tried to accommodate the Meccans in order to save his people and it backfired. If anything, it showed his concern for his people.
Mani: Radi is never going to accept that, Modi. I am not certain that I can accept it.
Modi: If it were proven to be true, Mani, would the Prophet be any less in your eyes?
Mani: Of course not.
Modi: Radi’s either, I know. Therefore, we won’t pursue it because it does not really matter. It is the refusal of some believers to accept it that is the problem.
Mani: Why is that a problem?
Modi: Because no one is perfect, no one! In addition, nothing written as rules for all humanity to follow can be perfect for all ages and in all places.
Radi: What about the American Constitution that you admire so much?
Modi: Nobody ever said it was perfect—but it is better than anything anywhere else. No honest-to-goodness American would ever change its basic philosophy.
Mani: Then why are so many people in America, even Supreme Court Judges, demanding to change some of it! Some want it gone!
Modi: Because they’re stupid, Mani, stupid!
Radi: So it is stupid to reform the American Constitution but not stupid to reform Islam. Sounds like bigotry to me.
Modi: You can look at it that way if you like, but the American Constitution is much different that our scriptures. First, it is not based on warfare. The American Constitution does not tell Americans not to take the Japanese or the Germans or the North Koreans for friends. The Constitution does not demand that Vietnamese be killed wherever they are found. The Constitution certainly never demanded a raid on a country in order to kill all of their men and divide up all of their assets.
Mani: I think he has you there, Radi. I think we should drop the idea of comparing Islam to the Constitution.
Modi: How could there ever be a comparison? The Constitution mainly spells out the rights of the people. The scriptures we are discussing spell out only the rights of Allah and the responsibilities of the people toward Allah. I would hope that a reform movement would give some attention to the rights of the people.
Radi: I don’t believe anything you say. I cannot. It is all a vicious lie. You should die!
Modi: I know you don't believe it, Radi. Mani has a tough time with it also.
Radi: Even your words are alien to me. I can never, ever, listen to or allow to continue any suggestion of reform. Reform is completely out of the question now and forever. I look at the word reform as the head of a snake. As soon as it raises its ugly head, it must be killed quickly.
Modi: I have often thought, Radi, that you live in a black-and-white world. Colors must really confuse you sometimes. The Ottomans found that they cannot rule half the world from their headquarters unless they allowed regional changes. Only the Salafists have not learned that lesson.
Radi: We will still defeat the West and the new Caliphate will rule the entire world.
Modi: If the religion allows itself to be changed it can take its place as a major religion in this world of ours. At that point, it will not want to rule any world. Any religion that demands to rule the entire world has a death wish. If it doesn’t change, it becomes a danger to the rest of the world because of what it teaches. You just cannot go around preaching “kill everyone but us.”
Radi: Why not? Why the hell not?
Modi: See, Mani. He doesn’t know why not.
Mani: I don’t really see it either, Modi. I guess I am against reform also. I would listen, of course, but not as long as any radicals were around.
Modi: Sometimes I have the impression we are not all in the same religion.
hjs
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