Modi (Moderate): Good morning. Radi, You were not at morning prayers outside with our neighbors. We saved you a spot stone free.
Radi (Radical): I was out all night with friends; we were looking for an apostate we heard about. We didn’t find him. I just rolled out, did a quick ablution, offered my life again to Allah for all his benefices, then rolled back in.
Mani (Mainstream): Didn’t the cold water wake you up?
Modi: No, he wore a mask all day, so he only had to pass his hands over the mask.[1]
Radi: (Laughing) You are sick, Modi.
Mani: Did you see the news item that reported the British school board announcing the death of Western Civilization.
Modi: Yes, I did. Talk about sick! This monster has been dogging their tracks since the end of the big war. The British leadership, as usual, got things wrong again. Remember that British imam that gave that big talk about a year ago, Radi?
Radi: Oh yes. He was fire and brimstone all right. He had the British pegged: not worth fighting. He said they will implode.
Mani: I recall that he told us the British leadership blamed their, as he described it, “Corrupt Culture” for causing all of those wars, so I suppose that is why they won’t teach their historic culture any more.
Modi: Right. And since Christianity and Judaism was part of that culture, they blamed Christianity for the rottenness in their history. What nuts! I have no idea what they are blaming on Judaism. Must be a whopper.
Radi: But what does all of that mean to us?
Mani: It means the British would be empty; they would be people in a vacuum. They would have no culture to fall back on. Without culture there are no traditions or clues to how to react to life and emergencies. The military and police have their own traditions, but they are now limited by political correctness and multiculturalism.
Modi: Mani is right. Political correctness means that they cannot tell the population that radical Muslims are responsible for the bombings, even if they have direct proof. And multiculturalism means that the British and Muslims must live side by side with two different systems of government at a certain level. If we want more than one wife, the government just looks the other way. But the Brit citizens can’t even think about it.
Mani: Yes. And if we restore our honor by killing our daughters for wanting to have a British boyfriend, that is okay too.
Modi: Not all the time, Mani. Sometimes they arrest the parents and bring them to trial. If they can find them. Although they’d rather not pursue anything that “is a matter of religion.”
Radi: Is France that way also?
Modi: Almost, under Chirac. We don’t think Sarkozy may be too different. Under Chirac, they are not allowed to point at any group responsibility; they must show that individuals committed a crime.
Radi: You are saying that if Islamiya, for example, blew up a couple of buildings and a railway station, they can’t blame Islamiya?
Mani: Not publicly, no. They must put the blame on the actual individuals who did the deed. I would guess if someone squealed and an investigation showed that the organization was indeed responsible, the French would go after each of the individual members of the organization that gave the order.
Radi: Sounds like my kind of place.
Modi: I did not say that the French keufs[2] would not beat the hell out of you if they caught you with explosives or running from a burning building.
Radi: You know what we would do. We would gather a few of our people from the neighborhoods and go looking for them, AKs and knifes ready. They would not live for a trial. It’s cost-effective.
Modi: Like any apostates you might find?
Radi: Yeah, yeah. Too bad he got away.
Mani: Tell Modi who gave you authorization to kill an apostate.
Radi: He doesn’t know? Modi, we are mandated to kill apostates—even the Sacred Law acknowledges there are no sanctions or any consequences at all for killing one.
Modi: But why must an apostate be killed?
Mani: Because it is so written.[3]
Modi: But when it was written, apostates were those who were considered traitors and could cause harm by telling the Meccans or the Jewish tribes about plans or weaknesses of the Believers in Medina. It could effect the outcome of a battle. Today, if a woman wants to marry a Christian or a Jew, who cares? Why should she be killed? It makes no sense.
Radi: It is written. It doesn’t need to make sense.
Mani: Abu Bakr's objection seems to be the loss of the zakat, a percentage of their assets. But I may have misunderstood.
Modi: If your brother decided he was simply tired of religion and just left home, not to join another religion, but to live freely without any religion for awhile, would you kill him?
Mani: Before you could say Abu Mussad al Zarqawi.
Modi: Et tu, Brutus?
Radi: What?
Modi: Nothing. I am disappointed. I thought you guys loved your family more than that.
Radi: More than what? There are 101 important priorities in life; religion represents 100 of them and family 1. We love our families—even if we have to kill any of them for violating our scriptures. Allah always comes first.
Mani: Actually, first, last, and always.
Modi: But you see your families every day, you love them and they love you. They would do anything for you.
Radi: I hope they would never let me get so drunk or so sick that I would renounce my religion.
Modi: But when you sobered up you would be a fine believer again. Your lapse would be only temporary. If your family killed you, you would be a dead apostate. Dying in that state would put you in hell forever, according to what you told me earlier.
Radi (Radical): I was out all night with friends; we were looking for an apostate we heard about. We didn’t find him. I just rolled out, did a quick ablution, offered my life again to Allah for all his benefices, then rolled back in.
Mani (Mainstream): Didn’t the cold water wake you up?
Modi: No, he wore a mask all day, so he only had to pass his hands over the mask.[1]
Radi: (Laughing) You are sick, Modi.
Mani: Did you see the news item that reported the British school board announcing the death of Western Civilization.
Modi: Yes, I did. Talk about sick! This monster has been dogging their tracks since the end of the big war. The British leadership, as usual, got things wrong again. Remember that British imam that gave that big talk about a year ago, Radi?
Radi: Oh yes. He was fire and brimstone all right. He had the British pegged: not worth fighting. He said they will implode.
Mani: I recall that he told us the British leadership blamed their, as he described it, “Corrupt Culture” for causing all of those wars, so I suppose that is why they won’t teach their historic culture any more.
Modi: Right. And since Christianity and Judaism was part of that culture, they blamed Christianity for the rottenness in their history. What nuts! I have no idea what they are blaming on Judaism. Must be a whopper.
Radi: But what does all of that mean to us?
Mani: It means the British would be empty; they would be people in a vacuum. They would have no culture to fall back on. Without culture there are no traditions or clues to how to react to life and emergencies. The military and police have their own traditions, but they are now limited by political correctness and multiculturalism.
Modi: Mani is right. Political correctness means that they cannot tell the population that radical Muslims are responsible for the bombings, even if they have direct proof. And multiculturalism means that the British and Muslims must live side by side with two different systems of government at a certain level. If we want more than one wife, the government just looks the other way. But the Brit citizens can’t even think about it.
Mani: Yes. And if we restore our honor by killing our daughters for wanting to have a British boyfriend, that is okay too.
Modi: Not all the time, Mani. Sometimes they arrest the parents and bring them to trial. If they can find them. Although they’d rather not pursue anything that “is a matter of religion.”
Radi: Is France that way also?
Modi: Almost, under Chirac. We don’t think Sarkozy may be too different. Under Chirac, they are not allowed to point at any group responsibility; they must show that individuals committed a crime.
Radi: You are saying that if Islamiya, for example, blew up a couple of buildings and a railway station, they can’t blame Islamiya?
Mani: Not publicly, no. They must put the blame on the actual individuals who did the deed. I would guess if someone squealed and an investigation showed that the organization was indeed responsible, the French would go after each of the individual members of the organization that gave the order.
Radi: Sounds like my kind of place.
Modi: I did not say that the French keufs[2] would not beat the hell out of you if they caught you with explosives or running from a burning building.
Radi: You know what we would do. We would gather a few of our people from the neighborhoods and go looking for them, AKs and knifes ready. They would not live for a trial. It’s cost-effective.
Modi: Like any apostates you might find?
Radi: Yeah, yeah. Too bad he got away.
Mani: Tell Modi who gave you authorization to kill an apostate.
Radi: He doesn’t know? Modi, we are mandated to kill apostates—even the Sacred Law acknowledges there are no sanctions or any consequences at all for killing one.
Modi: But why must an apostate be killed?
Mani: Because it is so written.[3]
Modi: But when it was written, apostates were those who were considered traitors and could cause harm by telling the Meccans or the Jewish tribes about plans or weaknesses of the Believers in Medina. It could effect the outcome of a battle. Today, if a woman wants to marry a Christian or a Jew, who cares? Why should she be killed? It makes no sense.
Radi: It is written. It doesn’t need to make sense.
Mani: Abu Bakr's objection seems to be the loss of the zakat, a percentage of their assets. But I may have misunderstood.
Modi: If your brother decided he was simply tired of religion and just left home, not to join another religion, but to live freely without any religion for awhile, would you kill him?
Mani: Before you could say Abu Mussad al Zarqawi.
Modi: Et tu, Brutus?
Radi: What?
Modi: Nothing. I am disappointed. I thought you guys loved your family more than that.
Radi: More than what? There are 101 important priorities in life; religion represents 100 of them and family 1. We love our families—even if we have to kill any of them for violating our scriptures. Allah always comes first.
Mani: Actually, first, last, and always.
Modi: But you see your families every day, you love them and they love you. They would do anything for you.
Radi: I hope they would never let me get so drunk or so sick that I would renounce my religion.
Modi: But when you sobered up you would be a fine believer again. Your lapse would be only temporary. If your family killed you, you would be a dead apostate. Dying in that state would put you in hell forever, according to what you told me earlier.
Radi: Yes that is the way things are.
Modi: Then wouldn’t it be better if your family let you alone for awhile, perhaps to come to your senses.
Radi: You are messing with my mind. That’s a waste of time.
Modi: Yes a mind is a terrible thing to…never mind.
Mani: I hear Bilal. Radi, go first. You make Modi nervous.
Radi: Ha! I’m gonna lop off his head…if I ever find out what he means.
HJS
[1] A reference to the ablutions rule that if one wears socks right after one ablution, then one need only rub hands over the socks instead of removing them and washing with water. The limitation on this is 1 ½ days; then wash the feet again.
[2] French verlan slang for policeman (flic)
[3] Bukhari 52:260, 84:57-58, 84:64
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