MORE THREE FACES EAST - By HJS

Three Arab friends: Modi (Moderate), Mani (Mainstream) and Radi (Radical) discuss the news of the day.

Modi:
I saw in the newspaper this morning that London is establishing a secret organization for apostates.

Mani:
Well, I can understand an apostate’s wanting to keep it secret.

Radi:
Yeah! If I knew about him—Zap—off with his head.

Modi:
You don’t understand. The Brits want to hide them from us. It is especially from you, Radi—they think you are too violent!

Radi:
Oh yeah? They have not seen Mani in action yet. He does the same things I do; I just enjoy it more.

Mani:
Yeah! To me it is just a duty to kill an apostate. That’s what is written for us. You know that yourself.

Modi:
I know what is written, but I cannot reconcile it with other documents that say that there is no compulsion in religion.

Mani:
That only means that we cannot force someone to convert if he doesn’t want to convert. It does not mean that once you have converted you can do what you want or even leave the religion.

Radi:
Yeah. I agree with that. They should have their heads cut off.

Modi:
Radi, death is not the answer to everything. I for one am not really sure that apostasy is that big a deal. If he wants to serve Allah some other way, why bother as long as he is serving Allah.

Mani:
It is not a question of our opinion in the matter. It is written that he should be killed, so that’s it.

Radi:
Yeah. What’s so hard to understand about that? It is written.

Modi:
Well then if it is written, it is an absolute law?

Mani and Radi:
Yep. You cannot violate an absolute law.

Modi:
Then what about these guys in America that say they need those foot baths in school?

Mani: What about them. They must use the basin to wash their feet each time before prayer. Don’t they?

Modi:
No—I knew I’d catch you on that one. It is written that you only really need to wash the feet with water every 1.5 days—if you wear shoes and socks after you wash the feet for the first prayers. The other four times that day you can go through the motions by passing your hands over your shoes. Of course, most people only do that for one day at a time, unless they are traveling. If it was good enough for our most beloved, it should be good enough for the other guys.

Radi:
Hey! Are you sure about that? That would save me some time; I wouldn’t have to take my shoes and socks off five times per day.

Mani:I heard something about that. Are you sure it is lawful?

Modi:
Look, the law has 51 pages covering ablutions and it describes everything. But that does not have much to do with what I am trying to say. I really am not sure we should be killing people who decide to worship Allah some other way.

Mani:
I would not keep saying that so loud. For one thing, you got Radi sharpening his knife again. And look, if he wanted to remove your head from saying that, I couldn’t stop him. He is right.

Radi:
Did someone call me?

Modi:
Yeah, Radi. Would you two really kill an apostate? Why? What about his relatives and friends? Wouldn’t they claim revenge?

Mani:
Now we have you on that one. Everyone has the right and the duty to kill an apostate if you have access to his person. Also, the law says that anyone, even the worst of people, can kill an apostate with no retribution allowed. So, if you decided to become a Christian, for example, even your parents and siblings would be required to take the action if they could get to you. I remember hearing about an Egyptian professor who was chased down the street by his father. The old man emptied his revolver at him. And they are not allowed to take any action against someone who beat them to it.

Radi:
Yeah. It’s not like we were getting away with anything. It is actually a violation if we don’t. Heh, heh! I could do it in a second with no consequences.

Modi:
Except I would haunt the hell out of both of you.

Mani and Radi:
How would you do that? The books says no consequences.

Modi:
But I’d be a Christian then—and I’d be allowed to do it. Ha! Especially you, Radi. Every time you put your knife down, I’d hit it on the sharp edge with a rock! And every time you fell asleep at night I would fill your head with dancing girls—you’d never get to Paradise!

Mani:
But there is nothing preventing from killing you now; you are not a Christian!

Modi:Afraid so! It is written that thou shall not harm another believer except for cause—and you guys don’t have cause. Well, my watch tells me it is time for the noon prayer. Let’s go wash.

HJS